Just Loving You
by Sapphirsal
Summary: Hiroki gets in an accident and becomes pregnant. Warning: mpreg (obviously).
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first fanfiction ever, so it may not be the best. **

**I plan on making this multi-chaptered, and will probably move the rating up to M soon.**

**Oh… and I'm kind of sick and perverted, so this _might_ become an mpreg. It may not. Depends on how creative I am feeling.**

**I own nothing. Everything belongs to Shungiku Nakamura. This holds true for all chapters.**

Chapter One

Nowaki frowned as he watched Hiroki grading papers. It wasn't that Nowaki was against his lover spending time for his job. But every moment that he spent with his trusty red pen and ever-replenishing pile of ungraded papers was another moment that Nowaki didn't get with the professor.

Hiroki was so immersed in the land of grammar mistakes; it couldn't hurt to… distract him from his work a little, could it? Of course not. That would be a fine idea. After all, Hiroki was bound to get premature wrinkles from his concentration. Nowaki stood up from his seat and went to stand behind Hiroki, who was oblivious to Nowaki's plan. All of a sudden, the tall man lunged for his shorter counterpart, wrapping his arms around his waist before an escape could be made.

"Ahh! Nowaki! What are you doing?"

"Mmmm…" Nowaki nuzzled Hiroki right where his soft chestnut hair met his sensitive neck.

"I'm just loving you, Hiroki. Isn't that okay?"

"Stupid. Of course it's okay. Just not now; my students are expecting these papers back tomorrow. I'm already really late on finishing them."

Nowaki held tighter and whined, "But you've been so busy with the end of the semester. I just want a few hours with my Hiro-san." A sad pout graced his lips as he said this, a fact that was not missed by Hiroki.

"Not now," Hiroki asserted and tried to worm his way out of the strong arms wrapped around him, "There's not time."

Nowaki ignored the struggling and continued to tease his lover's neck.

"You're right. A few hours would never be enough with you." He stood up and straightened out his black tee shirt. "I love you, Hiro-san."

"Yeah, yeah," he mumbled in reply as he felt a kiss on his forehead.

After Nowaki departed the kitchen, Hiroki found himself unable to concentrate on his task. Why did Nowaki always find it acceptable to waltz into Hiroki's personal bubble at the most inconvenient times? Every single night the tall man tried to get the hanky panky on, and every single night Hiroki had to turn him away. It wasn't as if he wanted to turn him away, it was just that his job was very demanding, and Nowaki knew that. He knew what he was getting into when he moved into Hiroki's apartment.

Hiroki tried not to think of his tall lover and the way that his arms were so strong and warm, and the way his lips moved so tenderly, and how gentle his great hands were when they…

Wait! No! He couldn't think like that! His students were counting on him.

But he did miss Nowaki… and he knew that Nowaki missed him. Hiroki tried to remember the last time they had been intimate, but he couldn't. _Maybe it was last Friday_, Hiroki thought. _Yeah, we were walking home from work and then… oh wait. That was the night that the stupid fire alarm went off and we had to evacuate the building._

It was been too long for both of them. Maybe his literature class would forgive him for being just one more day late in passing back their papers. Besides, it wasn't as if any grading was going to be done after Nowaki's nuzzling. Hiroki sighed as he put down his red pen and stood up.

After leaving Hiroki, Nowaki went back to their room. He was feeling a little rejected; that was the third time this week that his advances had been refused. Maybe his Hiro-san was tiring of the younger man. Maybe he wanted someone older, more mature, who would understand life better. Nowaki flopped down on their bed. It was a king size, and Hiroki had resisted buying it. _Too big_, he had said, _we don't need that much bed. It won't fit in our apartment. _

In the end, Hiroki had given in to buying the bed, if only because Nowaki wanted it. But now, Nowaki couldn't care less about the bed; he just wanted Hiro-san's attention. It had been so long since they had been together, and Nowaki was not a man without his needs. If Hiroki didn't come to bed soon, then Nowaki would have to take matters into his own hands, so to speak. Not that he had anything against pleasuring himself, but doing it with Hiroki, sharing the satisfaction, made him feel whole and content.

He couldn't think like that though. Already, a small tent was beginning to form in his pants as he imagined the sounds Hiroki would make. They were always so cute and soft, as Hiroki purposely muffled his moans.

He walked to the bathroom to brush his teeth and put on his sleeping pants. They were ones that he'd bought with his lover in mind: soft flannel and easy to pull down, just in case he was too eager to love his Hiro-san.

The man was suddenly very tired and very sad. Alone in the room, he figured he might as well go to bed. He thought about getting Hiroki to get some sleep too, as he had been very stressed lately, but decided against the idea. He didn't want to get yelled at or to face another rejection. He knew that Hiroki loved him, but sometimes he got temperamental when interrupted. Yes. It would be best to leave him alone while he finished his work.

As he was about to click his bedside lamp off, the door opened and in poked the small brunette's head.

Hiroki stared sheepishly through the doorway. When Nowaki didn't say anything, Hiroki began to feel guilty and dropped his eyes.

"I… I'm sorry. I know I haven't spent time with you late. But I promise that—"

"Hiroki, stop," Nowaki interrupted, a smile on his face, "it's okay. Really. Don't worry." He crawled out of bed to comfort Hiroki, who wouldn't meet his gaze out of shame. When he was close, he reached out to brush aside that hair that had fallen in Hiroki's face. The small man closed his eyes and turned away. Usually, Nowaki was the one who initiated sex. He wasn't used to being the one who brought the topic up, so what he was about to do was going to take some courage.

"Nowaki," he began, eyes still looking away, "since it's been awhile… and I need to make up for my absence…" He squirmed, clearly uncomfortable, hoping that Nowaki got the hint.

Thankfully, he understood what Hiroki was trying to say. His eyes took on a glint as he falsely pouted, "Ahh, yes, Hiro-san, you need to re-pay me for ignoring me. I was so lonely as you deserted me to grade papers." His hand left the side of Hiroki's face to dramatically sweep across his forehead, like a damsel in distress. "But alas! However will you make it up to me?" His eyes narrowed, challenging Hiroki to continue.

"Ummm…"

"Come on, Hiro-san. I know you can say it."

"Well, ahh, I think it would be best if you just told me what you would like… and then… ahh…"

"_Tsk, tsk_, Hiro-san. I thought that you wanted to make it up to me." He shook his head back and forth, pretending to be upset.

Hiroki was overcome with embarrassment. He floundered around for a moment before pushing Nowaki away. "Stop, stop! This was stupid. Never mind. I have things to do." He turned around and stomped out of the room while muttering something about papers and grading.

Nowaki wouldn't allow this. His long legs quickly caught up to Hiroki, only to grab his arm and spin him around, wrapping his hands around Hiroki's shoulders. "Hiro-san," he implored, "please, I didn't mean it. Come to bed." Then, lower-voiced, "It's cold in there without you."

Hiroki turned his head away and retorted, "You always try to play these games. I don't have time for this." He put his hands on Nowaki's chest to push him away, but to no avail. The bigger man didn't move under Hiroki's efforts. "Ugh, why do I even try?" He threw up his hands in frustration. "Let me go."

Nowaki loosened his hold and frowned. "Please, Hiro-san, just come to bed."

"Fine. But only if you compensate me for your rudeness."

Nowaki's mouth eased into a smile.

"Of course. Don't I always?"

Hiroki just grabbed his lover's hand and drew them toward the bedroom.

**It would mean a lot to me if you would review. I am rather insecure about my writing, and it would be nice to know that people read it.**

**Thank you!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Those who reviewed, thank you so much! I really appreciate that you took the time to do that! You don't know how much it means to me.**

**_Hana_, I fixed where Nowaki called him the wrong name. Sorry, I didn't even realize that I did that.**

Chapter Two

Hiroki stumbled down onto the bed and Nowaki soon followed. His thighs were pushed apart by the bigger man's legs as their lower stomachs pressed against each other, enabling each could feel the other's hardness pressing against his own. Hiroki's fingers weaved into raven hair and pulled him closer. Nowaki was eager to comply and ground down against the older man. He began by kissing his neck, a spot that was especially tender and soft. His pink tongue peeked out to lick smooth skin, and when Hiroki groaned, he began to suck. Warmth gathered under Nowaki's lips, and he knew that a dark pink mark would be left there. He moved slightly farther up, just under Hiroki's ear, and continued to suck.

"No…" Hiroki whimpered against the pleasure, "Not the neck. Too obvious… people will see…"

Nowaki shifted up to look Hiroki in the eyes. "Exactly, Hiro-san. I want everyone to know that you're taken, that nobody is allowed to touch you."

Hiroki looked away, uncomfortable with the sudden intimacy. Nowaki frowned. His earlier uncertainties resurfaced as Hiroki avoided his gaze. He knew that he wasn't good enough for Hiro-san. What if Hiro-san now realized it too and had tired of the younger, less experienced, and less worldly man?

"We should probably talk," Nowaki spoke softly. This wasn't a conversation that he wanted to initiate, but it had to be done.

Hiroki stared at him, dumbfounded. This was not the time for talking; it was about… well… doing other stuff. Stuff that involved the bed.

"Are you serious?" Hiroki gawked.

"Yes. This conflict won't go away," Nowaki whispered. His eyes and fists clenched with worry. "I need to know that you have time for me. I love you so much, Hiro-san, and I just couldn't bear it if… if you…" He trailed off, unable to go on.

"Seriously, Nowaki, you don't need—"

"No!"

Nowaki slammed his fist into the mattress.

"This is important!" He took a deep breath, trying to calm down. "I love you so much. I couldn't bear it if you were coming home late and always grading papers on purpose, just so that you didn't have to spend time with me. Have you finally tired of me?"

When Hiroki didn't reply, more from shock than anything else, Nowaki got afraid. Anxiety and nervousness forced him to roll on his side away from Hiroki and cover his eyes. He knew that he wasn't good enough for Hiroki yet. But if he could only get a little more time, then he would improve himself. But until then, he couldn't look at his lover's face. What if he saw pity, or worse, disdain?

A gentle hand landed on Nowaki's cheek, but he refused to open his eyes.

"Nowaki."

There was no reply.

"Nowaki," he tried again, a little more forcefully.

When that too yielded no response, Hiroki moved his hand to the shoulder in order to pull him over onto his back. The man, however, didn't budge. Try as Hiroki might, Nowaki was almost twice his size. His pushing and shoving had little effect on the bigger man.

"Nowaki, you big dummy! Move over!" he fumed. "I promise, I did want to spend time with you. Wait, no, I _do_ want to spend time with you." His voice got sweeter as he continued, "Trust me, I love you too much to ever leave you."

Under Hiroki's confession, Nowaki found the strength to uncover his eyes, just in time to see him blush.

Hiroki continued, "You don't have to worry. I know it's been hard lately, but the semester is over in 2 weeks." He moved his lips near Nowaki's face so that he could punctuate his words with kisses. "And then I will be able to spend every" – _kiss_-"single"– _kiss_-"moment"– _kiss_- "with you."

Nowaki was speechless as Hiroki continued to lavish love upon his face. His nose, his forehead, his eyelids, and finally, his lips. The older man wasn't used to doing the kissing, as Nowaki was usually the one who did all that. But Hiroki felt the need to show him just how much he was loved, if only because he was horrible at saying it.

Nowaki, having overcome his shock, wrapped his lover up in his arms.

"I'm sorry I got like that, Hiro-san," he whispered.

"Just don't do it again. I thought that you knew what you were to me. I didn't know that you needed confirmation of how I feel about you."

"I love you, Hiro-san."

"Yeah, yeah." Then, quieter, "Me too."

**Please review. Every single one makes me so ridiculously happy.**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"Wake up, Hiro-san," Nowaki cooed.

"Ungh," he groaned, eyes still closed, "Too early. Sleep."

Nowaki began to rub his back is slow circles, a gentle sensation that he knew Hiroki loved and responded to in the mornings.

"It's 7 o'clock. You need to take a shower after last night. If you don't get up now, you won't have time to get ready."

Hiroki shifted onto his back and muttered, "I don't wanna."

"I know. But if you get out of bed I will make you something super yummy for breakfast."

"You just want me out so that you can make the bed up."

"Never," he said, and leaned down to kiss the other's forehead. "I want you in bed all day long, provided, of course, that I was in with you."

Hiroki blushed and looked away.

"I'll go start the shower for you," Nowaki said with a smile

Hiroki tried to get out of bed, he really did. But he found that standing hurt after last night when Nowaki, _ahem_, pleasured him with such relentless vigor. He forced himself onto his feet, and winced from the pain.

"Hey, Hiro-san, are you okay?"

"Yeah, don't worry. I'm good." He tried to downplay the aching in his bottom for Nowaki's sake. He always worried about hurting the smaller man.

"Hmm… Are you sure? I prepared you enough last night, didn't I?"

"Of course, Nowaki. Don't worry."

He was still skeptical but decided to let the issue go. Tonight, he would be sure to stretch Hiro-san out real well before entering him.

After the raven-haired man left the room, Hiroki stripped. He stepped into the shower and let the heated spray soothe his aches. He stood there, absorbing the warmth, oblivious to the world around him.

He didn't notice the Nowaki was in the bathroom and entering the shower until he heard him say, "Hey, Hiro-san, I'm coming in, okay?"

Hiroki gawked. "What? No! I'm trying to shower."

"I'll help you." He took a washcloth off a metal bar attached to the side of the shower and began to lather it up with a bar of soap. "I finished breakfast a little early. I came in here to get some hand lotion, but when I saw you through the glass door… well, I couldn't help myself."

"Stupid," Hiroki murmured. But he didn't say anything else. He enjoyed the younger man showering with him. Not that he'd ever admit it.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Hiroki and Nowaki got out of work at the same time, so they met up at a local deli. While Nowaki went to order the food, Hiroki secured a table near the back of the building.

When he saw the tall man holding two sandwiches looking around for their table, Hiroki waved him over.

"Ahh, here you are, Hiro-san," he said while putting the food on the table.

"Mmmm, I'm starving!" He rubbed his hands together with anticipation.

"Don't they give you an hour lunch break between classes?"

"Yeah, but there's always students who feel the need to come ask me questions about assignments. By the time we finish talking it's usually too late to get food. Besides, it's not like there's good food to buy around there anyway."

"Oh, I'm sorry. If you want, I can make you a box lunch for work."

"No, that's okay," Hiroki said. It wasn't like he needed lunch; Nowaki always made him a big enough breakfast to last through the whole work day.

"But, Hiro-san," Nowaki pleaded, clearly dejected, "you need to eat. It's unhealthy not to."

"Fine, fine. Make it if you want. Just don't complain when you are late for work because you had to make me food."

"Of course not, Hiro-san."

The tall man looked so pleased; Hiroki had to look away to keep his dignity. Why did he have to be so attractive when flashing that smile?

Nowaki reached across the table to grasp one of Hiroki's hands.

However, the smaller man pulled away before they touched.

"Not now, stupid! We're in public."

"And? You should care less about what people think of you."

Hiroki gestured with a tilt of his head to the right, where a middle-aged man was sitting. "Look, he's watching us."

"Like I said, it doesn't matter how people see us when we're together. I'm not ashamed to be with you." He said all this with a smile— a smile that made Hiroki feel like a shmuck. Like always, Nowaki was charming and sweet, while he himself constantly said insensitive blunders while wearing a frown. He really did need to make an effort to be more affectionate, at least when related to his lover.

"It… it's not that I'm ashamed. It's just embarrassing when people stare."

"So let them stare." Nowaki leaned across the table to kiss an unsuspecting Hiroki on the lips. Out of habit, the smaller man began to push him away, but quickly remembered that he was going to stop being so reticent and start being more overt with his emotions. Nowaki captured his chin with his hand and continued the kiss.

Nowaki was the first one to move away. "I think the man is still staring at us," he said.

Hiroki looked over, but immediately snapped his head back, eyes wide. "Yes, he is most definitely staring."

The man at the other table was looking right at them. He wasn't discreet like most people when they stared. Instead, his eyes were trained right on them, unblinking and unmoving. A slight smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, a fact that unnerved Hiroki. It wasn't a happy smile, like the ones that Nowaki gave him; it was something else, a smile laced with an emotion that Hiroki couldn't place.

"Hey, Nowaki, let's take the rest of this sandwich to go, okay?"

"Of course, Hiro-san." Nowaki leaned a little closer and lowered his voice. "I _am_ rather eager for us to get home."

**_Isadora Yokwan_, your review made me soooo happy! You have no idea of the smile I had after reading it. I try to maintain proper grammar (although I do start sentences with "but" and I don't always use complete sentences. But I read a lot of books and I have come to believe that that is allowed for literary purposes) because I edit and proofread all of my friend's papers for school (I, much like Hiroki, am a fan of the red pen). I am probably going to do a lemon next chapter. I am just worried because I have little writing experience and I don't want it to be a failure. I have an incredibly sick and perverted mind, and I am worried that I might go overboard. **

**_SakuraKiss96_, yours also made me incredible happy. I tried to make their emotions clear to the reader, but I wasn't sure if I was doing a good job. Thank you for reassuring me. **

**I love every single one of my reviews! So please, give me one. It would make me very happy!**


	4. Chapter 4

**So, basically, in writing this I have discovered that writing smut between two men is a horrible experience. It is extremely difficult to write because pronouns become useless half the time. "He" and "him" do not work, because then people would get confused over which "him" is who. Or maybe you guys wouldn't get confused, but either way grammatically the pronoun always has to relate to the subject of the sentence. I got frustrated and ended up using pronouns where I shouldn't have, so I hope you don't get _too_ confused. Okay, now my rant is done. Thank you. :)**

**Anyway, I hope this is okay. It's my first time attempting to write something like this, and I hope you don't read it and go "That chapter is a complete failure. You do not have the gift of writing sex." I didn't know how to start it and I spent many minutes just staring at the computer screen.**

**Sorry if you find this to be vulgar. I didn't want to use any euphemisms to soften what they are doing. I feel that there is no way to write this stuff without being crude. After all, what they are doing is vulgar in itself. **

Chapter Four

Once the two men were back in their apartment, they set to work on their nightly tasks. Hiroki took their sandwiches out of his bag and put them in the fridge. He then hung up his coat and rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt. A few plates were in the sink so he washed those as well.

Nowaki put some water on the stove to boil. The couple kept a hummingbird feeder hanging outside of a window, and they made sure that it was full of sugar water at all times. Supposedly, hummingbirds became dependent on you if you set a feeder out. If it ran empty the birds would not go elsewhere for food and starve to death. Nowaki, a lover of all creatures big and small, was vigilant in filling up the feeder. Hiroki, who cared very little, would fill it up if Nowaki wasn't around, but only because he knew that the taller man would be sad if he saw it empty. It wasn't a difficult task though— only boiling four parts water with one part sugar— so Hiroki didn't mind doing it on the nights when Nowaki got off late at the hospital.

While the water boiled, Nowaki sat down and watched Hiroki pace around the room and clean up. The older man never was good at keeping things clean, and he often ended up leaving papers, pens, and books scattered around. Once he and Nowaki began living together, he had to clean up after himself. Nowaki would never say anything about the trail of office supplies left behind wherever Hiroki went, but Hiroki knew it bothered the other man. He made a concerted effort not to leave messes, and for that Nowaki was grateful.

Hiroki may not be verbal about his love, but he showed it often in his actions, in the little things that he did just to please his lover.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Nowaki lowered his head until their lips touched. It wasn't ravenous or hard. It was a tease kiss, meant to tempt Hiroki with the threat of the desire he knew would soon consume them both.

He ran his hands along the strip of skin exposed along Hiroki's stomach where his shirt didn't quite meet his pants. Fingertips slip under the fabric to move it higher, over his chest and finally over his head.

Hiroki's brown eyes closed. He was going crazy. He couldn't pull away, didn't _want_ to pull away.

"Oh God." His eyes broke open at the ferocious pleasure that ran through his body at the first stroke of tongue along his nipple. Nowaki's expression was enchanting, dowsed with lust and hunger. Without breaking the contact, Nowaki reached down to unbuckle his lover's pants. Slowly, the pants moved lower, over his thighs, and Hiroki lifted to allow it. Nowaki quickly disposed of his own clothes as well.

Once his skin was revealed, Nowaki leaned back down to tongue his Hiro-san's nipple. His shaft was rapidly hardening, hot and thick, and he couldn't help but grind his hips down. The feel of all this, their hard skin rubbing against each other, Nowaki's tongue licking his nipple as he stroked his thigh, had Hiroki moving closer and opening his legs. His hands moved up to delve into Nowaki's hair.

"I love you, Hiro-san," Nowaki breathed, lips caressing soft skin.

As Hiroki's fingers dug into Nowaki's back, he knew that his attentions were being greatly enjoyed. Yes, this was where Nowaki wanted his lover to be: underneath him, writhing in pleasure. Hiroki's back arched as pleasure raced through his body, eliciting a low moan. He fought to hold onto Nowaki, to have something with which he could center himself on and maintain some semblance of control. This pleasure terrified him, but also made him reach higher and higher until he didn't feel anything except Nowaki.

Lips left his nipple to kiss lower down his body. Each new place he touched brought forth a different feeling, a different strike of pleasure. Sensation attacked his nerves as Nowaki's lips and tongue painted a path of fiery strokes from his chest to his hips. When Nowaki confronted Hiroki's swollen head he found that it had leaked pearly liquid. He sucked the sweet fluid into his mouth and plunged his tongue into the slit, hoping that more would seep out.

Hiroki looked down to watch. Their eyes met and he wondered idly how the man had no shame? A smile reached his eyes as his head bobbed up and down. All at once he took the whole shaft into his mouth. Hiroki's hips arched up in pleasure as he was pleasured.

"Suck," Nowaki said, reaching up to place his fingers in his lover's mouth. He continued to administer to Hiroki's length as a warm wetness coated his fingers. An arousing sensation reached his groin when Hiroki's tongue played with his hand. He forced himself to pull his fingers away.

Hiroki's legs were lifted up as Nowaki's hand traced the provocative arc of his rear. His ass clenched in need and anticipation.

"I love you," Nowaki whispered with a sudden thrust of one finger into Hiroki's puckered hole. Only one finger. He needed more; this didn't fill him at all.

The finger pushed in and out. Sensation exploded through his body, causing his head to thrash against the pillow. Nowaki continued to do this until the resistance and pressure had loosened. Only then did he add a second finger. They searched and moved inside until Hiroki's prostate was found. Nowaki curled and pressed his fingers against this special spot until his lover was writhing under him.

"Please… more. I need more," Hiroki moaned as his body undulated, pleasure shooting deep into his stomach.

At these words, Nowaki removed his fingers. Hiroki immediately began to protest this loss until Nowaki aligned his cock with the grasping hole. The greatly engorged crest burst through his tightened ring to sink inside the constricting entrance of his anus.

Hiroki tried to scream, but found that he had no air. His mind couldn't think of anything but Nowaki's shallow thrusts and the pleasure careening throughout his body.

Nowaki reached out to clasp Hiroki's shaft with his fist and began to pump it in time with his thrusts. His hips were moving faster now, pushing harder and faster into the tightening depths inside Hiroki. Every thrust and moan increased their pleasure until Hiroki felt his release at arm's reach. Quickly, he was there. Ecstasy tore throughout his body as he arched and white-hot liquid shot over his stomach.

Nowaki, satisfied that his lover had come, pumped harder in order to reach his own climax. Hard pulses of semen blasted inside him, adding to Hiroki's pleasure.

Once they were both breathing steadily, Nowaki removed himself and collapsed on the mattress. Warm liquid seeped out of Hiroki's hole. They could do nothing but lie there silently. After a few minutes, Hiroki felt the dip in the bed as his lover got off.

"Hey, where you going?"

No reply was heard. Only the sound of running water gave Hiroki any clue as to what the tall man was doing. Soon, he was back with a wet washcloth in hand.

A blush was painted over Hiroki's face as the washcloth was eased between his ass and over his stomach.

"You don't have to do that, you know."

"Yeah, I know," Nowaki replied and leaned down to kiss Hiroki's forehead. "But I want to do it. It's my fault that you are all sticky, so I'm cleaning it up." He went back to the bathroom to throw the washcloth in the laundry basket.

Low enough that Nowaki couldn't hear, Hiroki whispered, "I don't mind, not if it's you that I'm covered in."

"Hmmm? Did you say something?" Nowaki asked, returning.

"No, no."

He turned off the light and crawled back into bed. His hand reached out to pull his Hiro-san to his chest.

They stayed like that through the night.

**_Armybro8_, thank you for the constructive criticism. I would like to say that I have never been to Japan (or any Asian country for that matter) and I know nothing about their social etiquette. In my head all of this took place in America, mainly because I know nothing about Japan, even though if it was real it would have taken place in Asia. Making the characters OOC was not my intent, and I am sorry that it came across that way. However, I believe that Nowaki could act like that. He was never truly confident in their relationship (thus striving to make himself "better") and when Hiroki rejected his advances time and time again, why wouldn't he be worried? Regardless of how long a couple has been together, I believe that it's always possible for one to tire of another. I do see your point though; I will try to make them less OOC. Thank you. :) **

**_Puppyfacetwo,_ I am contemplating making the guy at the deli play a bigger role. If depends if I feel like taking that route with this or if I even continue it at all. I don't know though. I am terribly uncreative with anything pertaining to new characters.**

**Please review! It would make me incredibly happy!**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

"But, Hiro-san, I don't want you to go."

"It's only for a week. The time will pass before you know it."

"I doubt it. Every day that I don't see you makes me so sad and lonely."

"Really, Nowaki, you'll be fine. I'll return next Saturday, and then we'll have all summer together. One week won't make a difference. Don't worry."

Nowaki cast his eyes down. "I know. But I'll miss you. A lot."

The small man's heart softened. He reached out to rest his hand on Nowaki's arm. "I'll miss you too. Don't forget to lock the apartment door when you leave work and come home. After that one time last month you can't be too careful. I don't want you getting in trouble while I am away."

"Of course not, Hiro-san."

He smiled and leaned down to give him a kiss. Before their lips touched, Hiroki pointed a finger at Nowaki and furrowed his eyebrows.

"Oh, and don't forget that the man from the air conditioning company is coming Thursday morning."

"Of course not, Hiro-san," he repeated. "I thought you were the one telling me not to worry; not the other way around."

His face softened. "I know… sorry… I just can't help it. It's been awhile since you've been here without me."

"I'll be fine. I can take care of myself." Once again, Nowaki leaned down to kiss Hiroki. He held his face close as their lips broke away to whisper, "Although every moment I spend without you will be meaningless."

Red inflamed Hiroki's face as he pushed away from the bigger man. "Don't be so dramatic!" He turned around so that his embarrassment wouldn't be so obvious and stomped away. Secretly, he was pleased that Nowaki was saddened by his departure. He wanted the other man to miss him just as much as he knew he himself would.

"I'll go get your bags," Nowaki called from behind him.

A minute later, he returned with a suitcase in one hand and a briefcase in the other. They walked out the door to where a taxi was waiting. After putting the bags in the trunk, Nowaki turned around to face Hiroki. They didn't have any heartfelt words of departure; all of _that_ had been taken care of that morning. "Goodbye" was the only thing they needed to say.

After Hiroki left, Nowaki went back inside to collapse on the couch. What was there to do now?

Hiroki and a few other select staff members of M University were invited to go to Nagoyo for a conference. They would probably chat about books and grammar and possibly even sentence diagramming— all stuff that Nowaki knew nothing about. The school semester ended two days ago, and the educational leaders of Japan felt a need to call professors from around the country to see which schools were teaching which curriculums.

Soon an hour had passed and Nowaki had to leave for work. Knowing that Hiroki would be leaving, he had called the hospital the week before to ask if he could come in late. He grabbed his bag and went to the door. As he put his hand on the doorknob he realized that he forgot to lock it after Hiroki left.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Hiroki jumped when a voice sounded behind him.

"Whatcha doin'?"

"Miyagi! You can't just walk up behind people like that!"

"Oh, I can't? I believe I just did."

Hiroki huffed and crossed his arms. "You are incorrigible."

"And that's what you love about me," Miyagi teased, reaching out with a finger to bop him on the nose. Hiroki swatted him away, but the man remained unaffected. "So who are you texting?"

"None of your business," Hiroki said tersely, and turned around to continue his message to Nowaki in peace.

Miyagi, however, had other plans. The taller man loomed over his shoulder and read the text message out loud: "'_Plane just landed. We are about to go to the hotel. I miss you already."_' He wagged his eyebrows. "When did you become such a romantic? I didn't know you were the I-miss-you type."

He was about to snap a reply when their administration board leader called them over.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

"Goodbye, Hana-san. I'll see you tomorrow!" Nowaki called as he left the hospital. It was late, three hours later than he normally would have left, but he had to make up for the time that he missed that morning to see his Hiro-san off.

Hana-san, the lady who ran the front desk at the hospital, had a special place in her heart for Nowaki. Actually, most of the women who worked there had a small crush on the man. He was kind, gentle, and considerate with his words. He was diligent and serious about his job, but also playful. They could talk to him about their troubles and he would actually listen. Children loved him, parents loved him, and even the janitor loved him. If that wasn't enough, he was undeniably handsome. Dark, raven hair framed his face. Equally dark eyes stared out wherever he went. His stature was imposingly tall, but still soft and almost cuddly looking. Yes, Hana-san believed that he would be the ideal man to marry. She had heard rumors, though, that he was in a serious relationship with another male. It would be a pity if it was true; he would have made the perfect father.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Nowaki called Hiroki a few minutes after he got home. His lover picked up the phone after only a few rings.

"Hey, Nowaki," Hiroki answered.

"Hiro-san! I got your message." The delight in his voice was apparent even over the phone.

"You did? Great! You didn't reply, so I wasn't sure."

"Oh, yeah, I had to work late today. I wasn't around my phone much."

"You sound tired. You okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm never too tired to talk to you."

"Oh, well you should get ready for bed. It's late."

"I already am ready for bed. I'm all tucked in under the covers. It's lonely though without your warmth next to me," Nowaki said in a low voice. The man had taken a quick shower, brushed his teeth, and put on his sleep clothes as soon as he got home. He didn't want his talk with Hiroki to be disturbed.

"I'm sure that right when I hang up you will be out like a light," Hiroki replied, slightly embarrassed.

"Maybe, maybe not," he said idly as he flipped over to face the side of bed that Hiroki slept. "So what are your plans for the next few days?" He imagined that Hiroki was lying down next to him, talking with him.

"Well, tomorrow I am going to a lab where our meeting is being held. It's called the Kang Institute of Science. One of my bosses majored in chemistry, and when we were being told the different places where the meetings could be held, he jumped when they said the Kang Institute."

"Well, I hope you have fun there. Have you ever been to a real science lab?" When Hiroki replied that he hadn't, Nowaki continued, "It's really interesting. Just be careful not to touch any chemicals. They'll probably be lying out all over the place."

"Of course not, Nowaki. I don't go around messing with things that I don't know about."

"I know. I just had to give you some advice so that in some way, I can feel like I'm impacting your adventures tomorrow."

The next sentence Hiroki said so softly that the big man hardly heard it.

"You impact my every day just by being in my heart."

"I love you too, Hiro-san."

**Okay, so yeah, this was boring. But I am leading up to something that will (hopefully) be exciting and tense.**

**Please, review! It would make me happier than a slice of banana crème pie or a slice of flourless cake (and let's face it: that stuff is delicious).**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Everybody had a few hours for lunch before they had to meet back at the Science Institute. Hiroki went with Miyagi and Shoza to an udon noodle restaurant only a few blocks away. The two literature professors were not close to Shoza, a calculus professor that had worked at M University long before either of them was in their teen years. The English department and the math department didn't associate. Not that they _couldn't_ associate, but they just didn't. It wasn't that they disliked each other, but they were in completely different buildings of M University. They never got the chance to bond over unruly students or the ridiculous grammar mistakes they found while grading papers (seriously though: 19 year olds should know by now the difference between _you're_ and _your_, and _then_ and_ than_).

Although Hiroki had only first met Shoza on the plane, he already liked him. The man was tall and very skinny. He had a large nose that protruded out from a face wrinkled with lines. His grey hair was balding, but it wasn't a look that Hiroki minded on the older man. It suited him.

In a small way, Shoza reminded him of Nowaki. Not physically, of course, but mentally. They both had a happy and kind attitude that permeated the air wherever they went. Yes, he liked Shoza very much.

Hiroki looked at his watch and was shocked to discover that it was so late.

"Hey, guys," he said while slinging his bag over a shoulder, "I am going to head back to the Kang Institute."

"Oh?" Miyagi teased, "Are you going to go call your giant of a man?"

Hiroki stood still and set his mouth in a firm line. Miyagi only said things to provoke him. If he didn't respond, Miyagi would grow tired and leave him alone. The small man was in no mood to play antics. He didn't sleep well without Nowaki's warmth beside him, and that irritated him on two levels. One: the fact that he needed Nowaki to sleep. Two: the fact that he was tired as a result.

After a minute of silence, Miyagi huffed and frowned. "Ugh, you are no fun today, Hiroki."

"I know." And he walked out the door.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

There was a small park in front of the Kang Institute. Trees were spaced intermittently throughout the grassy field and a small water fountain sculpture was centered in the middle.

Hiroki found a bench under a wide tree. Upon sitting down, he took out his phone to call Nowaki. He answered on the first ring.

"Hiro-san!"

_Nowaki_, Hiroki thought_, it's only been two days without seeing you, and yet just hearing your voice makes me so happy. When did I become such a sap?_

"Hey, Nowaki, how are you?" He smiled to himself.

"Now that I'm talking to you, I'm wonderful! But it's my lunch break and I only have 50 minutes left."

"That's fine. I just wanted to talk. I only have until two o'clock anyway before I have to go to another meeting."

Nowaki began to relay a story about a patient he had earlier that day, and Hiroki took the chance to lie down on the bench. It really was a beautiful day out— slightly too windy for his tastes, but beautiful nonetheless. A window from a room in the Science Institute was propped open; a scent was carried over to him from the wind. It wasn't entirely unpleasant, slightly sweet in fact. But it burned his eyes, making them tear up.

He turned onto his side and closed his eyes, attempting to block the irritant from entering further. Listening to Nowaki's voice was so pleasant. It was low and full of comfort, no sudden stops or starts in sentences. It was like listening to a recording of nature sounds, meant to lull the listener into a deep slumber. Hiroko began to fall into sleepy temptation as a wave of white peace surrounded him.

Suddenly, Nowaki's voice jumped a dynamic, startling Hiroki back to consciousness.

"Hey, you there?"

Hiroki sat up and began to wipe his eyes, hoping to wake them up.

"Yeah, sorry… I just accidentally… AH!" Hiroki jumped up and dropped the phone. The burning was back, only this time ten times worse. He rubbed his eyes furiously, attempting to quell whatever fire was raging in them.

"Hiro-san? Are you okay? What happened?"

No answer.

"Hiro-san!"

Nowaki heard far off frantic voices on the other end. He continued to yell into the phone, trying to get an answer.

But the line went dead.

**Yes, I know that this is short, but I didn't want to add anything more because it would ruin the cliffhanger. I have another chapter typed out, but I'll add it later when I have free time. **

**Please review! Even just one review would make my night! **

**Thank you!**


	7. Chapter 7

**_Isadora Yokwan:_ Ahhh I'm sorry! You're the second person to tell me that about Nowaki calling him Hiroki. My repeated mistake probably stems from the fact that I do not proof read what I write. I will start reading over after I write something, and hopefully I will not make such a mistake again. Thank you for the beautiful review by the way. It really made me extremely happy. Yes, it was my first time writing anything of that nature. I put more effort into things that I struggle with, so that's probably why it was better than other things that I've written.**

**ImagineI: Thanks for the spelling correction and lovely review. :)**

**Oh, and yeah… so in chapter one I said that I might make this an mpreg. I think I want to do it officially, which is why I wrote this chapter and the last one; it would prepare for the "reasonable" (haha if such a thing even exists) explanation of how it is possible for a male to get pregnant. **

**So basically, is that bad and too weird? I know that it completely turns a lot of people off. I am leaning towards making it one, but I don't know if that would ruin everything. Is anyone totally against it?**

Chapter Seven

Nowaki called everybody he could think of: Hiro-san's boss, The Kang Institute, the CEO of education, Miyagi, etc. Every person he talked to told him the same thing: "I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to disclose any information." Miyagi, though, was the only person who ignored the rules.

"First," Miyagi began, "you can't tell anyone that I'm telling you this. Okay?"

Nowaki nodded gravely, even though he knew that it wouldn't be communicated over the phone. "I promise."

"Good. I'm putting my job on the line by talking to you. I just feel that you should know everything that everyone else knows. It's not a lot though… They didn't tell us much of anything."

"Please," Nowaki pleaded, "whatever you know— anything at all—is great. I just really need to know if he's okay."

Miyagi chose his next words carefully. "Yeah, he is okay. That's what the doctors are saying at least. They wouldn't tell us what exactly happened to him." He hesitated. "But something weird happened to him. Some men in suits, hazmat suits I believe they are called, came running out of the building after they heard the commotion. They stared at everything for a minute, but then they started to yell at each other viciously. They were saying something about a window. I don't know… I couldn't really understand their words."

Nowaki didn't know what to say. He did, however, know that he needed to see his Hiro-san.

"I'm coming. I can get a plane by tonight. I need to go now. Thanks for telling me all of this. I really do appreciate it." He struggled to say this. Inside, waves of anxiety were crashing against his head and heart, making it difficult for him to maintain his composure.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Nowaki's plane landed at nine o'clock that night. Immediately, he rushed to the hospital where Hiroki was being held.

He managed to walk through the sliding doors of the hospital. Because he spent so much time in medical buildings, Nowaki knew that front desk ladies and security guards did not take kindly to any form of running. Every cell of his being was screaming at him to get to his Hiro-san as fast as possible, but he didn't want to antagonize anyone.

"Excuse me," he said politely to a young woman wearing too much makeup behind a desk. "I am here to visit Hiroki Kamijo. Would you tell me what room he is in?"

She was obviously bored from too many hours sitting down directing people to where to go. Upon seeing this tall and handsome man, she couldn't help but play a little.

Starting at his knees, she deliberately looked him up and down before turning to her computer. As she looked up the name, she started a conversation. "So, what's a man like you doing in this kind of place?" She plucked a note card out of a drawer and began to write some numbers on it.

"I'm actually here to visit my—"

"Well," she interrupted, "if you ever need some company, come visit me here." She leaned down to rest her chin in the palm of her hand. From this angle, Nowaki could clearly see ample cleavage pushing out of her shirt. "I'm sure I could find some way to entertain you." She smile with, what Nowaki was sure, a feeble attempt at seduction.

He reached out to take the note card she held out to him. Unfortunatly, her hand held onto the card. He tugged it out before saying, "Thanks, but… no thanks. I really have to go now."

Before she could say anything more, his long legs carried him out of the room towards the elevator. Once inside, he looked at the note card. _Disgusting_, he thought, _acting so unprofessional in the workplace._ In the middle of the card was a phone number in big loopy writing. Up in the corner, much smaller, was Hiroki's room number.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Nowaki knocked softly on door 309B. When there was no answer, he softly opened the door a crack. Upon peering inside, he saw his Hiro-san on a bed, eyes closed and unmoving.

He stepped inside, careful not to make any loud movements. Nowaki confirmed that he was asleep by the shallow breathing that pushed his chest up and down.

What was odd was the fact that nothing looked wrong with him. There was only one small tube— probably for feeding or painkillers— connected to him, and all limbs were intact. His skin was still smooth and unmarred, just slightly paler than usual.

Nowaki went over and sat on a stool next to the bed. He leaned over to push Hiroki's bangs back. It was weird. If nothing was wrong, then why was Hiroki in the hospital? After being purposely kept in the dark about Hiroki's condition, Nowaki expected that something much more serious was wrong. However, in his medical experience, he also knew that some of the most dangerous cases appeared to be mild and innocuous on first glance.

He bent forward to rest his forehead against Hiroki's temple. He had been so worried; nobody would tell him anything, so he'd assumed the worst. After a sigh of relief, he gently pressed his lips down to hiss Hiroki.

Upon this movement, the smaller man opened his eyes. They stared at each other. Neither person moved until Hiroki's mouth broke out into a huge grin.

"Nowaki," he whispered, the pleasure evident in his voice, "What are you doing here?" His words were slightly slurred, as if he was still half asleep or high on drugs.

"Silly Hiro-san, I'm visiting you."

Nowaki rested his hand on Hiroki's chest. The older man naturally looks young with his small stature, but as he pursed his lips into a goofy pout and shook his head, he looked ten years younger.

"Nowaki, Nowaki, Nowaki!" He looked up with pleading eyes.

"Yes, Hiro-san?"

Once again, Hiroki's face broke out into a huge smile. He clapped before squealing, "I love you, Nowaki!"

The raven-haired man raised his eyebrows. He stood up to read the label on the bag that fed the small tube leading into Hiroki's arm. Yes, just as he thought: Alfentanil. Nowaki regularly administered Alfentanil to his patients. It was used more as a sedative than to alleviate pain, and in so it often caused the user to become irrational and loopy. This appeared to be the case with Hiroki. His mouth was gaping open and the corners of his lips were turned up. His eyes, usually so blunt and concentrated, were unfocused and distracted.

"I love you too, Hiro-san," he said, patting the man's head.

He responded by wiggling around on the bed and giggling. Yes, he _giggled. _Nowaki never thought he'd see the day when the professor lost his inhibitions.

"How are you feeling?"

"Mmmmm…. I'm good…." Hiroki's words were slurred. "I'm a lot better now that you're here."

"Me too. I'm also better now that I'm with you." He took Hiroki's hand and began to massage his thumb. "Do you know why you're here?"

"Nope, nope, nope." His head shook back and forth. "A lot of people came though to see me. They examined me and did a lot of tests."

Suddenly, he raised his eyebrows and narrowed his eyes. "Can you keep a secret?" he whispered.

Nowaki nodded solemnly.

"I don't think the people know what is wrong with me."

"Why is that, Hiro-san?" He used his talking-to-a-baby voice that he did at the hospital when he was trying to get a child to do something.

"I don't know. But it's true." Hiroki defiantly crossed his arms over his chest.

Nowaki nodded his head in agreement. Hiroki was too drugged up to be of any help; it was best to just play along with whatever he said.

Suddenly, the door opened and in walked Miyagi.

"Oh, you're here," Miyagi said. He walked to the other side of the bed and sat down. "I just got back from meeting with the lead doctor. They think they know what's wrong with him."

**So, I know that this probably got a little boring. Sorry. :(**

**Reviews would make me feel even happier than how the chocolate lava cake I am eating right now makes me feel. :)**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

"I just got back from meeting with the lead doctor. They think they know what's wrong with him."

Nowaki tensed and said, "Hiro-san looks fine. You're sure he didn't just collapse from hypotension or anemia?" He began to talk faster, as if the speed of his words would make them true. "He had anemia last month. It can cause fainting when it gets bad. He might not have been eating right while he was here. Sometimes when he gets out of his comfort area—"

"Nowaki," Miyagi interrupted, "it's not anemia." He fidgeted and looked away. "I… I think you should go talk to the doctors. They'll be able to describe it better than I can."

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Nowaki left the doctor's office in a daze. He didn't understand what happened, _how_ this happened. He stumbled as the toe of his shoe caught in a floor crack. A bench was near him, so he sat down and rested his head against the wall.

An open window was the cause of his Hiro-san's situation. _Situation_— was that even the right word? Condition might be more appropriate, though Nowaki didn't know if an appropriate term even existed.

That morning, a group of scientists were performing an experiment in the Kang Institute, testing how some chemicals reacted against each other. The scientists were just paid to carry out the experiment; they didn't know what the research was for or what would happen as a result. Because of their lack of knowledge, they didn't hesitate to open the window.

Nowaki clenched his fists. Stupid, it was all so stupid. An open window provided a portal for the chemicals to travel through the air and reach Hiroki. If those damn researches weren't so ignorant…

The effects of the chemicals were still unknown. They were still testing Hiroki to determine what exactly happened. There was only one thing they knew for certain: the chemicals had an effect similar to radiation. In the next few days, when the results on his organs came in, they would know if he would live or die.

He punched the bench. He had never been so angry in his life.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Once Nowaki had calmed down, he trudged back to Hiroki's room. He found the older man asleep, and that was good. He didn't know if he could face his lover without breaking down. So many emotions were swirling through him. One side of him was angry. Angrier than he had ever been in his life. Hell hath no fury compared to what he would unleash upon the scientists if they ever met. His other side was sad and filled with despair. Helplessness consumed him. There was nothing he could do, nothing he could say, that would make this better.

In a small way, he never wanted to meet the people responsible for this. He never wanted to see their faces and know that their screw-up was the reason why his Hiro-san could die. According to the doctors, there was nothing that could be done except wait for the results of the quasi radiation to come in. There was a small chance that nothing would happen, that Hiroki would walk out the doors in a few days unscathed, but there was a much larger chance that his organs would fail. Fail, meaning that Hiroki would die.

He looked at the sleeping man. Hiro-san was so peaceful. He wouldn't die, Nowaki wouldn't allow it. He would use all of their love to protect him.

He reached out to grasp his Hiro-san's hand. It was warm and soft, just like always. Instinctively, Hiroki rolled over to get closer to Nowaki's heat. He often got cold when he slept, which was why he sought out the warmth of the man sleeping next to him, causing them to wake up entangled. But Nowaki didn't mind. Quite the opposite actually; he reveled in his Hiro-san's sleeping form snuggled up against him.

There was only one thin blanket on the bed. Nowaki pulled it further up his body so that more of him would be covered.

At the memories of them sleeping together, Nowaki laid his head down on the pillow. Their faces were so close; if Nowaki stayed still, he could feel the slight air moving in and out of Hiroki's mouth. This comforted him and he matched up the patterns of their breaths so that they were inhaling and exhaling in unison.

Soon, Nowaki drifted off to sleep.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

A knocking on the door roused the sleeping men from their slumber.

"Come in."

Miyagi walked in the room.

"I just thought I'd knock seeing as how you two were in here alone." He smirked. "I didn't want to walk in on you guys _enjoying_ each other's company. God knows I've done that before…"

Miyagi rolled his eyes as if he was bitter, but his playful tone belied his words.

Nowaki was not amused. He crossed his arms disapprovingly, letting Miyagi know that he wasn't in the mood to joke around. Before he fell asleep everything was a blur; he didn't quite grasp what exactly had happened. While resting, reality had set in.

Having grown up under the strict raising of the orphanage, Nowaki had impeccable manners. It took every ounce of this training not to lash out at Miyagi. His Hiro-san could very likely be dead in a week. Dead! There was nothing anyone could do about it. And Miyagi was trying to be funny?

Hiroki witnessed this exchange silently. He didn't remember much except his eyes burning and then a lot of tests being done on his body. But he felt fine, so nothing bad could be wrong, right? Probably just some smoke got in his eyes, causing him to fall over and hit his head.

As the two taller men fumed, Hiroki decided that it would be a good time to speak up.

"So… Anyone mind telling me what's going on?"

They both looked over at him, pain in their eyes.

Hiroki scoffed. "Come on now, it can't be that bad." Silence. "Right?"

Miyagi sighed. "We don't know yet."

The professor was confused. "What do you mean you don't know yet? Nowaki, what's he talking about?"

Nowaki didn't answer. He couldn't answer, couldn't look him in the eyes and tell him the truth.

"Nowaki!" he demanded.

He looked away. He didn't want his Hiro-san to see the tears that were threatening to fall. That would only stress him out, something he surely didn't need.

In the end, Miyagi had to tell Hiroki what had happened. He listened to what he was being told, but more intently he paid attention to Nowaki, who was sitting silently in a chair, eyes closed and unmoving.

A nurse came in the room a few minutes later to tell them that visiting hours were over. Miyagi left, but Nowaki protested vehemently. Nothing could tear him away from his Hiro-san, not when he didn't know how many hours they had left to be together. Once the nurse learned that Nowaki was a medical professional, she allowed him to stay in the room, but only if he was very quiet and didn't leave.

**Have a wonderful Easter! **


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

The next morning Hiroki woke up first. Immediately, he saw Nowaki sleeping on a chair. His feet were propped up on the foot of the bed, and his head hung limply to the side. Hiroki sighed. The younger man couldn't be comfy like that. The chairs were wooden and hard, and simply too small to accommodate Nowaki's huge body.

Hiroki had offered to move over so that they could both sleep on the bed, but Nowaki declined. _You need your rest_, he had said, _I'll only disturb you if we're together._ Stupid Nowaki. Hiroki knew that he would never sleep well when Nowaki was so clearly uncomfortable. Besides, the bed was big enough to squeeze two on it.

He, himself, felt fine. Not the fine that you reply when a friend asks how you are feeling, but literally fine. He flexed his arms and legs. Everything was in working order. Of course, if his pancreas was failing he wouldn't know it.

"Hey, Nowaki," he said, shaking the man awake, "It's morning."

The man grumbled awake and began to rub the sleep out of his eyes.

"What time is it?"

Instead of waiting for an answer, he glanced at the clock. Ugh. 6:30am. What was his Hiro-san doing up already?

"Hiro-san, you should be asleep. You need as much rest as you can get."

"Nope, no more sleep for me."

Nowaki started to protest, but Hiroki cut him off before he could say anything. "Seriously, I slept most of yesterday and all of last night. If I don't get up and do something I'll go crazy."

The tall man stood up and stretched. His back and neck hurt, like they'd been compressed overnight. He groaned as the muscles and bones expanded back to their normal size.

"Nowaki, you shouldn't have slept in the chair."

His only reply was to lean over the bed to stare into Hiroki's eyes. Not the normal kind of stare, his I'm-going-to-fuck-you-as-soon-as-we're-not-in-public stare, but an inspecting stare. He took Hiroki's eye and opened it to look at from different angles. His hand was swatted away.

"Come on Nowaki, don't do this."

He sighed. "I can't help it. You are everything to me. I just… I just need to make sure that you are okay." He took his face in the palm of his hands.

"If I'm going to die, I'm going to die. There's nothing you or I can do about it."

Nowaki visibly sunk, which softened Hiroki's tone. "Please, we don't know what's going to happen. Can't we just enjoy each other's company?"

Again, no answer.

"Fine, if you insist upon being this way, then I'll just go ask the doctor what the test results on my organ's say." He tried to rip his IV out, but found that that it was harder than it looked to remove the tape which held the miniscule tube in.

"Hiroki, no." A forceful hand gripped his forearm where he was going to work.

He only glared up at the younger man. First, he was sulking, and now he's being all controlling.

"Don't. You can't leave."

"I can't leave? I don't remember anything saying that I can't leave."

"Just don't!" Nowaki's voice was louder now with his frustration. "Don't go, Hiro-san. Don't go. Please, don't leave me." He sunk down to his knees and palmed his face.

Hiroki could deal with Nowaki's angry side, though it didn't come out often. But this other side, the one where he was broken, Hiroki didn't know what to do. He was not soft and tender by nature, and this overt display of raw emotion made him uncomfortable.

"Nowaki," he began, rather awkwardly, "it's okay. You don't have to be scared." His hand found the top of his lover's hair and began to rub it soothingly. Nowaki looked up to gaze into Hiroki's eyes. "Really, I'm not afraid to die if that's what's going to happen." His eyes gazed off into a corner as he recited a line from a poem, "'Death be not proud, though some have called thee, mighty and dreadful, for though are not so.' Death happens to everyone at some point or another."

Nowaki's face took on a look of pure intent. He stood up and declared, "I will not let you die, Hiro-san!"

"Well, for starters, we can go check the test results," Hiroki said, mirthlessly. "They are supposed to be in today. If my organs didn't get hit with whatever chemical residue was in the air then I'm good to go home." He swung his arm in a jolly manner to accentuate his point.

"I don't want to know. I don't think I could bear it if you got radiation, or whatever they are calling it."

In the end, Hiroki convinced Nowaki to go to the office for the results. The younger man didn't want Hiroki to leave the bed, so he went alone. The professor only listened in order to placate Nowaki. If the man wasn't so fragile right now, he never would have followed Nowaki's "orders."

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

He held his breath before knocking on the door. This was the moment, the moment when he would know if his Hiro-san would be okay or not. He raised his fist to rap on the door. On the down stroke, the door swung open to reveal a startled Doctor Yamamoto.

"Oh, good morning Kusama. I was just about to go visit you. We got the results. They are rather inconclusive."

This man was just the kind of doctor that Nowaki didn't like. The kind of doctor who was completely detached from his patients, caring nothing about them or what would happen to them. He was just in it for the money that his job brought in. It was despicable in the worst sense. Whether the results were good or bad, he didn't care. He was only concerned about his flat-screen TV and formidable paycheck.

Oh, well. Nowaki dealt with this kind of man every day during work, he could deal with one more. "Inconclusive? What does that mean?"

"It's difficult to explain. I will tell you, though, that the results are not entirely negative. Actually, not negative at all."

Nowaki felt the breath that he had been holding for the last twenty-four hours expel in relief. God, what was this feeling? Elation? No, that wasn't right. It was something much stronger than elation. Elation was just a fleeting emotion. This ecstasy was more permanent, more lasting. The joy from his relief filled him up until there was no room for anything else in his body. His Hiro-san would be okay.

"But there is still something we need to be concerned about."

Nowaki stilled.

"This is what we are inconclusive about… His organs weren't impacted, but there were other side-effects."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that something is wrong in his body, something is growing." Nowaki's heart skipped a beat. A tumor? Cancer? "I don't want to worry you. This 'something' isn't necessarily bad. It's just unknown right now."

**No, the "something growing" is not a baby, although I have decided to make this mpreg, if only because I am sick in the head and need something to write about. Just thought I'd say that. Although I think that puppyfacetwo is the only one who actually reads this. But that's okay. I know that what I write is a little boring sometimes. But I am not majoring in creative writing for a reason: it is not my forte.**


	10. Chapter 10

**As I've said before: I'm sorry if you get confused while they are doing sexual activities pertaining to who is doing what.**

Chapter Ten

Nowaki was confused. "So let me get this straight: 'something' is growing inside of Hiro-san, but you don't know what?"

"Correct."

"But this 'something' isn't bad?"

"Again, correct. We have done numerous tests, and it's not malignant nor is it in the way of any organs."

He shook his head; this made no sense.

"I don't understand. How is this possible?"

The doctor smirked. "I thought you went to medical school. You should understand this."

"I did go to medical school," a slightly offended Nowaki asserted, "But most definitely not for this. I studied pediatrics."

"Of course." Doctor Yamamoto gave a long sigh. "Well, basically we thought that the radiation—well, it wasn't really radiation, but they are similar enough to call it that—was going to destroy his organs. Instead, it has caused his cells to mutate. I believe that it is the lesser of two evils."

Nowaki clenched his fists and said through gritted teeth, "How is mutating cells the lesser of two evils?"

"Come now, calm down."

Nowaki was shocked at being told to calm down. The safety of his Hiro-san was threatened, and all the doctor could say was "calm down?"

"It's not that bad. I'm telling you, he is in very little danger now."

He forced himself to take a deep breath. "Okay, so mutating cells. What's going to happen now?"

"Nothing. We see what happens."

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Nowaki walked back to his Hiro-san's room with a heavy heart. He knew very little about cellular anatomy, but he was pretty sure that if they were mutating it was bad.

"Ah, Nowaki, what's the verdict?" Hiroki asked when the tall man walked through the door.

"You're fine."

"Good, I thought so."

Nowaki waited for an explanation.

"I wasn't worried. I didn't think I was going to die. Sometimes, you just have a feeling that things are going to be okay. Besides, death isn't something to be afraid of."

"Not something to be afraid of? You just had a feeling that things were going to be okay? I could have lost you—" Nowaki gripped Hiroki's shoulders, "—and there would have been nothing you could have done to stop it." He shook the smaller man for emphasis. "And then what would happen? I would be alone, Hiro-san! Completely alone! You are everything to me!" His voice got louder and higher as he continued. The dam holding back all of his emotions broke, causing all of his worries from the past day to flood his body. His anxiety, fear, and worry overflowed him all at once, and his excess emotions burst out.

"Why can't you even pretend that this is a big deal?" The shaking continued, only this time harder. "Why can't you at least be worried about his? You could be dead! Dead!"

Hiroki winced as the arms gripping his shoulders cut into his skin. He pushed the taller man away, but he didn't budge. "Nowaki! Stop! You're hurting me."

Nowaki stilled as he realized what he was doing. Slowly, he dropped his arms.

"I'm sorry Hiro-san." He looked down out of shame as tears threatened to spill over his eyes. "I was just so worried, and you didn't even seem to care this whole time."

"Of course I care. I care a lot… I care about myself, but I care more about you." Hiroki reached out to put his hand on Nowaki's shoulder. "And I didn't want you to worry any more than you were already. If I let my feelings show, then you would have pickeded up on it and stress more."

Nowaki could only sigh. Hiroki was right. He looked up to stare into his Hiro-san's eyes, and felt his love for the smaller man consume him.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Two days later Hiroki was released from the hospital. The "tumor" was still present and unidentified, but the couple had been assured that it would cause no problems. Nowaki was still skeptical, as he didn't understand how something non-dangerous could be growing inside his Hiro-san, but he didn't question it further; he trusted the doctor's opinion.

They couldn't get plane tickets home until the next day, so the two paid for a hotel room. Although Hiroki was offered one more night in the hospital for additional recuperation, he declined because Nowaki wouldn't be allowed to stay with him. Besides, he needed a break from hospital gowns and sitcom re-runs.

As they were walking down the street after dropping off their bags in their room, Hiroki felt his stomach rumble.

"I'm hungry."

"But Hiro-san, you just ate breakfast at the hospital."

"So?" he grumbled. "The food they fed me the last few days tasted like cardboard. I want something real, like noodles or a nice big steak."

"Of course, Hiro-san."

Nowaki smiled, pleased that his lover was back to normal, whatever normal was.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

"I am going to go take a shower."

Nowaki looked up from the book he was reading to look at Hiroki. "Oh, okay. I'll take one after you then." He went back to reading.

But Hiroki just stood there awkwardly. After several long seconds, Nowaki noticed that he wasn't leaving for the bathroom.

"Do you need something, Hiro-san?"

"Nope. I'm good. Just about to go take a shower…"

"So I heard."

Hiroki blinked and shuffled his feet. "Well… aren't you going to ask if you could join me, or if I needed help washing my back, or something stupid like that?"

He closed the book and set it down. "Do you want me to ask?"

"No, no… I just…"

"So you _do_ want me to ask." Nowaki's eyes twinkled mischievously as he smiled. "Well then, Hiro-san. Do you want me to join you in the shower?"

"No," he asserted. But then his voice got softer. "But if you wanted to you could, I guess."

"I always _want_ to. I just didn't know if you'd be up for it after everything that's happened. I didn't want to pressure you."

"Stupid, you never pressure me to do anything," he mumbled.

The two men went into the bathroom and stripped. Hiroki blushed when he saw Nowaki's naked body lean over the tub to turn the water on. His ass was so firm and squeezable; the skin so smooth and tight. Hiroki doubted that his own behind could compare. Idly, he wondered if Nowaki ever looked at Hiroki the same way.

Nowaki turned around and caught his lover staring.

"What were you looking at, Hiro-san?" he asked playfully, as if he didn't already know the answer.

"Ah, nothing, nothing."

He walked over to the shorter man and nuzzled his neck before ushering him into the shower.

"Do you want me to wash your hair, Hiro-san?"

"No, I'm fine."

Nowaki ignored him and began to soap up Hiroki's head with shampoo. The professor didn't complain. After all, he really did love it when Nowaki bathed him; his pride just wouldn't allow him to admit it.

Soon, Nowaki was running a sudsy washcloth over Hiroki's body. Down his arms, over his chest, and then around his ass. These sensations, accompanied by the knowledge that it was Nowaki in front of him, aroused him viciously. His penis hardened and lengthened with anticipation, but Nowaki didn't touch it.

He continued to rub the washcloth over his Hiro-san's body. Down his legs, over his instep, between his toes. Hiroki was tense; every single part of his body had received Nowaki's attention except for the part of him that wanted it most.

He ached from needing Nowaki's touch.

"Nowaki…"

"Yes, Hiro-san," he replied innocently as he turned the water off.

"Never mind."

Nowaki stepped out of the shower first. He took a towel from under the sink and held it open for Hiroki. He dried the older man off carefully and gently, making sure that every inch of his skin had been run over with the towel. As soon as Hiroki was dry, he dropped the towel to pick up a new one that he quickly ran over his own body.

As he began to rub down his hair, he felt a fingertip trace the curve of his spine.

"Hiro-san?" This was odd. Usually, Nowaki was the one to initiate any touching.

"Mmmhmm?" Hiroki continued rubbing his back.

"Are you _that_ ready for me?"

"Ugh," he scoffed, "Well what was I supposed to do? You hardly touched me in the shower, and then you just stood there. I couldn't help it."

"Oh no, you misunderstand me," Nowaki said gently, "I like you touching me. Go ahead, continue."

"No, no, I'm good now," Hiroki replied and began to walk away.

He made it as far as the bathroom door before he felt Nowaki's hard body trap him from leaving. His body was turned around and then he felt Nowaki's soft lips moving against his own. Their contact was lost just as quickly when the tall man grabbed his hand to pull him out the door and press him down on the bed.

"I love you, Hiro-san," Nowaki said softly.

"I know. I love you too."

Nowaki started with his arm, running his fingertips up and down his lover's smooth skin. The strokes were long and slow, allowing Hiroki to get used to the sensations, and when he was sure the smaller man was ready, he leaned down to replace his fingers with his mouth. His lips traveled over his lover's lean muscles, and he felt him twitch when he pressed kisses onto the skin.

When he could tell the smaller man was ready, he travelled his lips over to Hiroki's nipple. Before he took the nub into his mouth, he looked up. Hiroki was gazing down on him, the sweetest expression on his face. His mouth was slightly parted to allow for deep breaths as he panted with anticipation and need. When Nowaki sucked it into his mouth and pulled, he jerked involuntarily.

Hiroki was breathing in an unrefined, rigid rhythm. Nowaki flicked his nipple again, and watched as his Hiro-san arched off the bed, one leg twisting up to allow his heel to dig into the mattress. A few more licks had Hiroki balling the sheets in his fists.

"N… Nowaki…," he moaned. "I need more."

He left the nipple to brush his mouth downward, over his pec and down his stomach. He dipped his tongue in Hiroki's belly button and felt him gasp. His Hiro-san's abdomen was so cute. It was soft, firm, and very warm. He nuzzled the sensitive skin between his pelvic bones and belly button.

"Nowaki," he gasped, "Stop playing."

Nowaki travelled lower until his mouth was poised above Hiroki's erection. It was leaking a pearly fluid as evidence of his need, and Nowaki couldn't wait to taste it.

He sucked the head in and then twirled his tongue around it. Hiroki moaned, the low sound rumbling throughout his chest; then he gasped. His head threw back into the pillow, but he kept it at an angle so he could still see Nowaki.

His lips enveloped Hiroki's straining erection. The pull from Nowaki's sucking was too much, and he groaned with need. He continued to work him with his mouth, licking up and down, then dipping his tongue in the slit before taking all of him in. All of this drove Hiroki higher and higher until his hips began to swivel and thrust into Nowaki's mouth.

He pressed his left hand on Hiroki's lower abdomen to hold him down. His other hand reached down between the smaller man's legs to fondle his heavy sac. This new sensation accompanied by Nowaki's warm mouth caused him to moan wildly. A fire of need built in his body as searing heat consumed him.

Nowaki, knowing that his lover was close, sucked with more force. He gripped both sides of Hiroki's hips and began to bob his head up and down. Hiroki, overcome with ecstasy, reached out to grab fistfuls of Nowaki's hair. As passion and ecstasy rose within his body, he pulled on the hair.

"Nowaki!" he cried, as his orgasm overtook him.

Thick liquid began to shoot into Nowaki's mouth. He continued to suck until Hiroki's body had stopped shaking, drawing out his lover's pleasure.

Hiroki could only lay there. His heart was pounding and his muscles felt as though they had disappeared.

Nowaki moved from between his legs to get off the bed.

"Hey, where are you going?"

Nowaki stood still and scratched the back of his head.

"We're not done. You didn't find your release yet."

"I'm fine, Hiro-san. Seeing you overcome with pleasure is enough for me."

"Well I'm not okay with that," he said, looking pointedly at the straining erection between Nowaki's legs. "And clearly, you aren't okay either. Come here." Hiroki opened his legs, inviting Nowaki back.

The tall man sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, but made no move to continue their earlier activity.

"Hiro-san, as much as I want you— and believe me, I do want you—I don't think I should put myself inside of you this soon after you got out of the hospital. I don't want to hurt you."

"Well that's stupid. I'm fine. The doctor said so. Whatever happened to me is over. Done with. The past. Besides, you can't just leave _that_ the way it is." _That_, being the throbbing erection between his legs.

Hiroki pushed Nowaki onto his back.

"No, Hiro-san," he protested, "I'm fine really."

But the moan that left his lips when Hiroki took him into his mouth made his objection lose all force.

**I feel so perverted. ;)**

**Sorry if this is confusing. I got confused while writing it, so it wouldn't be surprising if you got confused too.**

**Please review! It would make me very happy. **


	11. Chapter 11

**_Honest Alice_: Whoa. Hold your horses. Nobody is pregnant. I do not believe that I have made a mockery of myself in any way. There will be no "chemical x" involved or anything of the like. Please don't be insulting when there is no need to be.**

Chapter Eleven

A week has passed since the couple had left Nagoyo. True to Doctor Yamamoto's word, Hiroki had not suffered any horrible side effects. Nowaki kept waiting for his lover to break out in cold sweats or fever, but the professor was the same as ever.

Nowaki was still concerned. Hiroki had a doctors appointment later that afternoon. They were going to test the tumor to see what it was composed of, and Nowaki hoped that nothing had changed. A lot of things could have gone wrong since they left the hospital: the tumor could have grown, it could have become malignant, or it could be shifting.

The tall sighed as he put the chicken breast into the steaming pan. The juices immediately seeped out of the meat, only to hiss and sputter away into nothingness.

He heard Hiroki entering the room, but he didn't turn around to greet him as usual. His heart was too heavy to put on a normal face.

"Nowaki, is the chicken almost done? Cause we have to leave soon. It's rush hour and I don't want to be late."

"Of course, Hiro-san," he replied, still facing to stove, "The chicken is really thin, so it should be done in just a few minutes."

Hiroki stopped and stared at him. Nowaki's shoulders were hunched over and his head hung down. Sadness radiated out of his body so clear that even the plants on the windowsill were drooping.

"Hey… are you okay?" He put a hand on the taller man's back.

His reply was small and only half-hearted.

"Yeah."

"Cause you know that it's only a follow-up appointment. Nothing will have changed. They're just making sure that everything is still fine."

He turned the chicken over.

"I know. But things don't always work out the way that doctors think they will. I know that from experience." He felt the hand on his back begin to rub in smooth circles.

"You can't think like that." Hiroki gave an awkward, forced laugh. "Besides, I feel fine. Don't worry."

Nowaki quickly turned towards him, only to envelope him in a great hug. He dug his head into Hiroki's neck and breathed deeply. Ah, he smelled the same as always, like clean cedar wood and old books, but still lemony and fresh. He inhaled again. The smell was intoxicating and familiar.

"I love you, Hiro-san," he whispered, still nuzzling his neck.

"I know. I love you too."

They stood still in embrace for a few moments until Nowaki felt himself get pushed away violently.

"Nowaki! Look, the chicken's burning!" He scowled and pointed at the smoking meat.

He quickly turned the stove off in an attempt to save their lunch.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Two hours later found the couple sitting in a meeting room in front of a doctor. His glasses were low on his nose as he examined a piece of paper. He was frowing, Nowaki noticed. Frowning was bad. Frowning meant that his Hiro-san was in danger. Frowning meant that—

"It appears that everything is still as we expected," the doctor said, cutting off Nowaki's rapidly running imagination.

Hiroki clenched his lover's hand in reassurance.

"We have done further tests on the tumor." He paused to scrutinize the paper. "The tests conclude that it is just a mass of blood cells and nutrients embedded in tissue. Nothing to worry about."

Nowaki exhaled pent up breath.

"See, I told you," Hiroki said.

His lover just smiled in return.

"One more thing," the doctor chimed, "There is a scientist here who wants to see you. He has something in mind that he would like to discuss with you."

Seeing their hesitation, he continued, "Of course, it's totally voluntary. You in no way _have_ to talk with him."

"No, no, it's fine," Nowaki said, waving his hand up and down.

"Why does he want to see me?" Hiroki asked.

"It's actually both of you that he wants to see. He just has some questions."

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Hiroki and Nowaki walked to the room number they were told. It was on the complete opposite side of the hospital in an area that Nowaki had never been in before. The lights were dim and unnerving, but the floors were clean and the air fresh.

A short man answered the door.

"Ah, hello. I've been waiting for you," he said with a big grin. "Come in, come in."

There was a large silence once they were all seated. The scientist stared at them, and they stared right back. Hiroki, slightly uncomfortable, looked away first.

Nowaki began, "So, we were told that you are a scientist."

"Yes, I have a degree in medical biology and medical science. My name, as I'm sure you were told, is Sato. I have something very important that I'd like to discuss with you. I don't want you to reject my idea right away. It could be dangerous, but please keep an open mind.

"I have reviewed your case with several colleagues of mine, and we all agree that this could work."

He turned to Nowaki. "You are a pediatrician, so this topic is a little off of your area of study, but are you familiar with the term in vitro fertilization."

The tall man nodded, not understanding where this conversation was going.

"Well we believe that this could work with you." He looked at the couple hopefully.

"What are you talking about?" Hiroki said.

"In vitro fertilization. On you."

Hiroki's mouth gaped open before he spewed, "What is this crap! I'm a man. Men don't have babies."

"Yes, yes, I am aware. But your current condition makes us believe that it is possible."

"Um, no. Not gonna happen." He grabbed Nowaki's hand and pulled. "Let's go. I don't want to deal with this crackhead any longer."

"No, wait, Hiro-san. Let's hear what he has to say."

Upon seeing Nowaki's pleading eyes, he agreed to stay.

Once they were both seated again, the scientist continued.

"We have been studying male pregnancy for many years now. We have everything figured out except for how the baby would get enough nutrients to grow. Now, your tumor isn't really a tumor. It is just a mass composed of blood cells and nutrients. We think that a fetus would be able to feed off of the mass in lieu of the placenta." He looked up at them hopefully. "This could work. Please, think it over."

Hiroki just grumbled and looked away, but Nowaki nodded politely.

"Here, I've printed off a sheet for you with all of the logistics. Call me after you've thought it over."

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

It was an awkward ride back to their apartment. They didn't speak on the subway and they continued their silence after they had made it through the front door. Nowaki wanted to discuss it, but he knew that Hiroki had already shut the idea down. Yes, this particular subject would take great tactic to bring up.

He went to the kitchen to make some tea. It was chamomile, a flavor that he knew his Hiro-san loved but thought was too "girly." Once it was done he added a small drop of honey to make it sweeter. The smaller man enjoyed it slightly sweeter at night, even though he insisted that he didn't.

Holding the mug, he walked into the living room to find Hiroki lying down on the couch. His eyes were shut and his arms were folded under his head, causing his shirt to ride up. Nowaki stared at his exposed stomach as he entered the room. A small line of hair trailed from his belly button down to under his pants. He put the mug on the coffee table to sit on his knees in front of the couch.

He ran his fingertips along Hiroki's happy trail, causing the smaller man to open his eyes.

"Hiro-san, I brought you some tea."

He looked down to watch Nowaki stroke his stomach.

"Thanks," he said absent-mindedly, too absorbed in the sensations along his lower belly to pay mind to the tea.

Suddenly the hand flattened to press down.

"Hiro-san, what do you think about what the scientist said?"

"Really, Nowaki?" he huffed, "Are we even going to discuss this?"

"I would like to." He rubbed the stomach in slow circles. "I mean, we should at least think about it."

"No."

"I would like to have children. And I would like them to be ours. Both of ours."

"No."

"Well, promise me that you'll think about it," he said, standing up.

"No promises."

Nowaki leaned down to kiss his stomach and then his lips.

"I love you, Hiro-san. I'm going to go read the paper he printed out for us."

Once he had left the room, Hiroki stared at the ceiling and felt his mind wander.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

An hour later Hiroki walked into their bedroom to find Nowaki lying down on the bed.

"What's up with you? You look sorta distressed."

"Hmmm? I guess I am. The dangerousness of the procedure is shocking."

"That bad?"

"No, but it's more of a risk than I'm willing to take."

He sat down next to the taller man and picked up the papers.

After scanning through them, he said, "I don't understand any of this."

"It's quite ingenious actually, what they think they could do.

"They believe that they could implant your sperm inside of an egg, and then proceed to implant that egg inside of you, next to the mass. Then they would introduce my sperm to the egg, which would cause, from what I understand, pregnancy. The main problem with male pregnancy is the fact that there is no uterus in men, and therefore no placenta, which is from where the fetus feeds. The fetus in you would be able to feed off the mass, since its main constituents is the same as the placenta, and other main hormones that you are missing would be administered to you"

"Um… doesn't a baby need a uterus?"

"No. It doesn't."

"This whole thing freaks me out," Hiroki said while lying down.

"I know. Me too. I decided that I don't want you to do it. There's a lot of complications that could go wrong."

"Well, I was thinking… It wouldn't be so bad, would it?"

No reply.

"Well, I mean, you want a child, and I wouldn't mind it _that_ much."

Still no reply.

"It wouldn't be that bad. It is, after all, in the name of science… Something like this has never been possible before…"

"No, Hiro-san. I don't want to risk it."

Nowaki shook his head. He would never put his Hiro-san in the path of danger like that. How could he ever think, even for one second, that he would take that chance?

**So I was reading science articles online on a reputable database for a research paper I have to write for one of my classes, and I found that it really isn't necessary for a fetus to develop in a uterus. In fact, there have been many cases where babies develop outside of the womb by natural causes.**

**Comments are greatly appreciated.**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Hiroki woke up first. It was one of the first Saturdays in many weeks that neither he nor Nowaki had something on their schedules. Finally, a day where they could sleep in unbothered by the toils of everyday life. He savored the feeling of waking up of his own free will, from his body's own decision that it had gotten enough sleep.

He debated getting up to make tea but decided against it. Snuggled up in the crook of Nowaki's arm, Hiroki was warm and content. He removed his arm from under his body to place it on Nowaki's bare chest. Closing his eyes, he found a heart beat under his palm, slow and even.

He moved his hand slightly over to place his fingers on Nowaki's nipple. Automatically, the tip hardened as he ran circles around the pink flesh. In his sleep, Nowaki shifted to roll onto his side facing Hiroki. His long arms encircled the smaller man to pull him closer.

Hiroki was trapped. His head was tucked under Nowaki's chin as it rested on his bicep.

"Mmmm…. Hiro-san…," the sleeping man murmured, smiling faintly.

Hiroki slowly maneuvered his arm to place it in Nowaki's hair. It was very soft, and as he dug his fingers in, he caught the familiar scent of shampoo. They had showered together yesterday, causing Hiroki to blush slightly as he reminisced.

Nowaki began to caress his lover's bare back while whispering _Hiro-san _over and over again. Hiroki didn't move away, enjoying the touch, but when Nowaki gave a low moan, he knew what was happening. This had happened a few times before; sleeping Nowaki sometimes got rather vivid dreams about himself and his lover partaking in various… physical… activities together.

Normally, Hiroki would push him away, but he decided not to. After all, it was very warm wrapped in the tall man's arms, and maybe, _just maybe_, he wouldn't mind if Nowaki started something on this lazy Saturday morning.

Nowaki rolled Hiroki onto his back and topped him. He ground his hips down and moaned softly. Resting his weight on his forearms, he leaned down to rest their foreheads together.

"Hiro-san…"

Their lips touched very slightly, but Hiroki wanted more. He tried to raise his head to receive a deeper kiss only to find that Nowaki's lips were out of reach.

"Nowaki… Hey, Nowaki," he said, trying to rouse the sleeping man.

He took hold of Nowaki's shoulder and shook him gently.

"Wake up, sleepy."

Nowaki's eyes slowly opened. He was momentarily dazed, but after realizing what was happening he scrambled off.

"Ahh! I'm so sorry, Hiro-san! I didn't mean to wake you."

Hiroki snuggled back to his side and toyed with the waist band of Nowaki's boxers.

"It's okay, you didn't wake me." He looked over to the side and flushed. "But you know, you can't start doing something like that and then just stop."

"Oh?" He tilted his head and smirked. "What are you saying? Are you saying that you want me to get back on top of you?"

Hiroki reddened as Nowaki leaned towards him.

"I think that is what you are saying, Hiro-san," he said in a smooth and low voice, "I think that you secretly enjoy this."

He pushed the man back before their lips met.

"Stupid, Nowaki…" He blushed profusely and whispered, "It's not a secret…"

Nowaki's eyes opened at the confession. His heart swelled with love and burst. Not able to control himself, he bent over to kiss Hiroki. He dug his fingers into the smaller man's hair as he ran his tongue over Hiroki's lips, asking for entrance. After his mouth opened to let Nowaki in, their tongues intertwined.

After Nowaki's body weight had pushed them over, he reached down to hook his thumbs in the top of Hiroki's sleeping pants.

He looked the smaller man straight in the eyes.

"You are so much better in real life than in my dreams, Hiro-san."

And he pulled down the pants.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

_Later that morning—_

Nowaki cuddled his Hiro-san close. After making love Hiroki had fallen asleep. But Nowaki didn't sleep. He could have if he wanted to, but he wanted to watch his lover. Hiro-san was so cute when he slept; his mouth was slightly parted, his eyelids looked so soft, and the tension on his face disappeared.

A loud noise from the dresser startled him.

_Ring….Ring….Ring….Ring…._

Nowaki shot out of bed, hoping to get the phone before it woke his Hiro-san up.

"Hello?"

"Kusama Nowaki? This is Dr. Sato. I am calling to follow up about our conversation."

He shifted his feet.

"Yes, but this isn't necessary. We won't be trying to conceive."

"Oh? Did you read everything that I gave you?"

"Most of it. I stopped after I read what the risks were," he admitted.

"Well, please re-think your decision. Read the whole packet." The voice hesitated. "I would advise you to towards doing the procedure, not for my sake, but for your own benefit. Er, more for your boyfriend's benefit. Though the mass in his body will not directly harm him, it could cause major complications in the future. Please, just read what I gave you."

After they hung up, Nowaki climbed back in bed with the packet.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Hiroki's eyes slowly opened.

"Hiro-san, you're up."

"Mmmm… What time is it?" he grumbled.

"A little after ten. You slept a long time."

"Ugh." He burrowed his head back in his pillow. "How is it that late already?"

"I received a call from Dr. Sato, the scientist we talked to the other day."

"Oh, yeah, I meant to talk to you about that."

"I thought we decided against it already?"

Hiroki rolled onto his back and rested his head in his hands.

"No, we didn't. We didn't really talk about it at all. I know I initially said no, but it might not be that bad. You want a family, and if that would make you happy…"

"I told you that it was too dangerous."

No reply.

"Well, anyway, Dr. Sato asked me if we discussed it and I told him we decided against it. But I am re-reading the papers he gave us. I missed something typed at the end."

Hiroki sat up to read over Nowaki's shoulder.

"What does it say?"

"Basically it just lists why it would be more beneficial for you to get the procedure than you not to get it."

"I thought I was fine."

"Me too. But apparently in the future it could cause problems, nothing that would outright kill you, but there's a lot of things that could go wrong if the mass doesn't shrink, which the fetus would help do."

"What do you think?"

"It's just so dangerous!" He took his lover's face in his hands. "I don't know what I would do if you got hurt."

"Well, what do you _want_ me to do?"

Nowaki groaned.

"I don't know! I do want a family, but I'd rather you are safe, but if you're going to be in danger either way, then…"

"You want me to do it?"

Nowaki slumped.

"I guess so. The benefits outweigh the risks at this point."

"The idea of a pregnant man is creepy."

"I don't know," Nowaki mused, "If it was you, I bet it'd be cute."

**Sorry that my sentence fluency died a little in this. **

**Comments are VERY much appreciated! :)**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

Hiroki gripped Nowaki's hand as the needle was inserted into his lower stomach. He clenched tightly in an effort to displace his anxiety. The needle was huge! Surely it would hurt going in.

"Okay, here we go," the doctor said, aligning the tip.

Hiroki gritted his teeth and looked away.

There was a sharp prick as it was pushed in. A few seconds passed and then he relaxed upon realizing that there was no more pain.

"Okay, there you go. All done." The doctor pulled the needle out. "Please read this information that has been printed out for you concerning the procedure."

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

"Stop doing that, Nowaki!"

"Stop what, Hiro-san? I'm just trying to help you…"

Nowaki had spent all afternoon doting on his lover's every need. Ever since they had gotten back from their doctors appointment the man had been painfully attentive, asking if his Hiro-san was hungry, or if his stomach hurt from the needle, or if he wanted to sit down. It annoyed Hiroki endlessly.

"No, I don't need help! I'm fine!"

Nowaki looked down, dejected and sad.

"I'm sorry, Hiro-san… It's just…."

Hiroki softened. "You don't have to worry about me."

"I know," Nowaki said, his face brightening a bit. "But I like worrying about you."

"Well… Just try not to worry too much. You don't have to treat me any differently. I'm not even pregnant yet."

Nowaki laid down on the couch as he said, "I hope the procedure worked. I think I would enjoy a pregnant Hiro-san."

"I thought you were against the idea?"

"I was, but only because I thought it was too dangerous." He looked over at Hiroki and smiled. "Over the past few days I've become more accustomed to the idea. I am a little excited. The thought of you carrying my child… It's almost like we're a real family."

"What? Nowaki, we are a real family. We don't need a child to tell us that."

"But still—"

"There is no "but"s." He sat down next to the man and stroked his hair back.

He felt Nowaki's arms encircle his waist and pull him down. They were now spooning on the couch, Nowaki behind holding his lover.

"I love you so much, Hiro-san."

Nowaki kissed the back of his neck. "You please me to no end." The kisses moved over to his shoulder, then to the soft spot under his ear, then his cheek. He was now supporting himself up on his arms so that Hiroki was under him. "You make me so happy." He groaned as their lips made contact.

He tasted sweet and Nowaki relished the flavor as their tongues clashed together. He loved kissing his Hiro-san. His lips were always so soft and his mouth always so warm. He always gave little moans when nibbled. Or maybe, Nowaki wondered, maybe he loved kissing Hiro-san simply because he loved Hiro-san. Maybe it was all about the connection he felt whenever their lips met.

They paused upon hearing a rumble come from Hiroki's stomach.

"Oh, you haven't eaten since this morning. I should make you something to eat," Nowaki said, getting up.

Hiroki gripped his arm. "It's fine, I'm not hungry."

"You should still eat something. Do you want me to make you some dumplings?"

Hiroki sighed, knowing that he would lose this battle, and gave in. "Sure, that'd be great. Thanks."

Nowaki's smile sent his heart racing. Why was Nowaki so attractive when smiling?

Hiroki followed him into the kitchen and watched Nowaki begin to cut up some vegetables. He was so absorbed by the knife going up and down that he didn't hear Nowaki speaking until he put the blade down.

"Ah, sorry… what'd you say?"

"I was just saying that you should eat more if you become pregnant."

"Why? The fetus wouldn't be feeding off of what I ate, remember?"

"That would only be part of its diet. The rest of it would come from you."

"It would?" Hiroki said, scolding himself for not reading the packets. "Okay, then. I'll try to eat better."

"I'll also try to be better about always making you food. I realize that I often forget to cook you things, and we shouldn't eat take-out so much."

"I can cook for myself, you know. It's not your responsibility to take care of me."

"I know, I want to take care of you though."

Nowaki was worried about Hiroki's safety. His situation was dangerous enough; they didn't need anything else lowering their odds of a healthy pregnancy. He would do anything he could to make sure that his Hiro-san was safe.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Two weeks had gone by and Nowaki and Hiroki went back to the hospital for a follow up on their procedure. After an examination, which involved a very embarrassed Hiroki peeing into a cup, they were told that the procedure had been affective. Hiroki was now pregnant.

Nowaki didn't know how he felt. Of course, he was happy. He had thought a lot about his Hiro-san pregnant, complete with a big belly and glowing complexion. That side of him was utterly ecstatic. But the other side was nervous; so many things could go wrong…

He gripped the edge of the bowl and stirred harder as he transferred his energy into cooking. He didn't want to think about the dangers. There was nothing he could do that would change what would happen. All he could do was take care of his lover as best as he could. This would surely be the best batch of cookies his Hiro-san would ever eat!

**I get very sad when there are no reviews and I feel like you don't like my story. Please review as it encourages me to keep writing.**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

Hiroki was in front of his apartment after walking back from the grocery store when his phone rang. Great, just when his hands were full. He squeezed the carton of juice between his body and his forearm while balancing a dozen eggs so that he could flip open his phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Hiro-san. I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to be home a little later than usual today, okay?"

"Uh, sure. That's fine. What are you doing?"

"I'm just going to stop at the bookstore. There's a few things I want to buy."

"Oh, great! I've been meaning to go there recently but I haven't had time. If you can come home first we can go together."

"No, no," Nowaki quickly sputtered, "I'll be really quick. I'd rather just go now."

Hiroki narrowed his eyes.

"Don't be silly. I want to go too."

"Ah, really, it'd just be faster if I went now."

His voice was nervous and tight. What was Nowaki playing at?

"But if you want I can pick something up for you."

Hiroki flattened his mouth into a tight line before answering.

"Don't bother. It's fine. I'll just go later. Alone."

"Sorry, Hiro-san…" Was he apologetic? "I'll see you at home, okay?"

"Sure, sure. Bye."

"I love you, Hir—"

Hiroki snapped the phone shut. Groaning with frustration, he shoved the phone into his pocket.

At that moment, the eggs balancing on his arm teetered. He saw them slip off and fall with aching clarity. As they plummeted down, he squatted to try to grab them midair, but the carton squeezed between his arms prevented his reach. One by one they tumbled out of the box to splat on the concrete, getting raw egg juices all over his pants, shoes, and face.

He stared at the sticky yellow blobs covering his clothes and the ground. Reaching a finger up, he wiped at a globule running down his forehead.

Without a word he turned around and walked through the door to his apartment.

Luckily—if luck was even to be found in this situation—he was only a few steps away from home when the eggs fell. If this happened father away… Hiroki couldn't even contemplate the embarrassment he'd feel walking home if someone saw him covered in egg goop.

Once inside, he sat on a stool. He didn't want to think about the mess outside. Egg was particularly difficult to clean up. If he didn't get it all gone, then it would soon start to rot and smell.

He massaged his temples, only to find that he was rubbing egg gunk into the sides of his head. The cold substance squished between his fingers rather repulsively, and Hiroki's first instinct was to move his hand away. On second thought, he decided to continue anyway. Fuck it, he thought, it wasn't like he wasn't a mess already, and the rubbing sure felt nice against his stress at the situation.

After several minutes, Hiroki had calmed down enough to grab a roll of paper towels and walk out the door.

Upon seeing the sticky mess of the sidewalk, he got on his knees and ripped off a sheet from the roll.

His anger built up as he rubbed at the ground. Stupid Nowaki! This was all his fault.

He threw the paper towel to the side and grabbed a new sheet.

Why did Nowaki even have to call him in the first place? If he _really_ wanted to go alone to the bookstore he could have just gone. It wasn't like Nowaki needed his permission or something.

His feelings simmered nice and slow as he cleaned up the splattered mess.

The sound of approaching footsteps made him halt work as he looked up.

"Um… Hiroki…. Not that I ever mind you on your knees, but… uh… what are you doing?"

"What am I doing? What am I doing, you ask me?" He stood up with irritation. "Well, thanks to you, I am out here cleaning."

Nowaki tilted his head in confusion.

"Thanks to me? I don't understand."

"What is there not to understand?" Hiroki threw his arms out for emphasis, but the quick movement made the egg gathered on the paper towels fling off to glob on a nearby trashcan.

He stared at it while gritting his teeth. An eyebrow twitched in irritation.

"Um, Hiro-san," a confused Nowaki murmered, "There's some egg on the ground."

His anger boiled over.

"YES, I KNOW THERE'S EGG ON THE GROUND!" He took a deep breath for control. "And now, there's egg on the trashcan, and there's egg on my clothes, and on my face, and probably in the kitchen too."

Nowaki took a step forwards, holding out his hands.

"Are you okay, Hiro-san?"

Hiroki ignored his outreached hands.

"Yes, I'm fine. Just go inside so I can finish this."

The tall man cocked his head and turned. Slowly, without looking back, he walked inside their apartment. Hiroki watched him leave.

Stupid Nowaki, Hiroki seethed, He wasn't actually supposed to leave him out here.

He moved over to work on the trashcan. He got so absorbed in his cleaning and self-ranting that he hardly noticed when a hand landed on his shoulder. He spun around to stare at the abnormally tall man.

Without a word, Nowaki placed a wet towel against his cheek and wiped. He gently rubbed it all over his face until all remains of egg were gone. Then, he spoke.

"Hiro-san, I'm sorry about this. Whatever I did, please don't be angry."

Hiroki anger evaporated at the man's words. Why did he always have to look so attractive while saying such understanding words?

"I'm not angry," he muttered. "I'm just…." He trailed off, not knowing how to continue.

"Just what?" Nowaki pleaded.

The tall man placed a cool hand against his cheek.

Nowaki frowned and moved the hand up to his forehead.

"Hiro-san, you're really hot. Do you feel okay?"

"Hmm? Yeah, I'm fine; it's just hot out here." He shrugged the man off. "When I get back in the air conditioning I'll be good."

Nowaki was skeptical but decided not to press the issue.

**This is what I wrote tonight instead of finishing up a paper I have due tomorrow. Well actually it's not due till Friday, but I'm leaving town to play in a music thing on Thursday morning so the paper is due early. Yipee. It's just so hard to write about medicinal stuffs without it sounding dreadfully boring, so I have zero motivation to get it done…**

**_Purplegurl156_, I will do it. I just have to get over the idea that it'd be weird if Hiroki did that. I guess it's not weird in the whole scheme of things considering that I'd be writing gay sex in the first place. :) **

**Reviews make me very happy. :D **


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

Hiroki looked nervously back and forth and he tiptoed over to the bed. He didn't want the taller man to see what he was about to do. He reached Nowaki's bag and opened it, peering inside. After rummaging around, he found what he was looking for. He pulled out the plastic bag marked with the bookstores name and reached inside, pulling out several items. On top were a few tourist pamphlets, one for a "tropical paradise on the beach" another for a "relaxing resort" and one for a nature reserve where the animals got "so close you can reach out and touch them."

Under the pamphlets was a book: _What to Expect When You're Expecting. _

What the heck is this? Hiroki thought.

He leafed through the pages, only stopping to read short sentences here and there.

He froze when the shower shut off. Quickly, he stuffed everything back into the bags and rushed out of the room.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Nowaki left the bathroom with a towel slung around his hips. As he grabbed the hair comb sitting on the bedside table, he eyes his bag on the bed. Good, it was still where he left it. He didn't want his Hiro-san to know what he had bought. Not that he was keeping secrets from him…

He had stayed up all last night thinking about the pregnancy, and he was worried. There was so much he didn't know. Before leaving for work, he did research on the computer for what he should know, and several sites listed _What to Expect When You're Expecting_ as a good resource. Of course, he knew that Hiroki's pregnancy was far from average, but he still felt that he should read something on what was happening.

"Hiro-san," he called.

The smaller man appeared in the doorway. He stared at Nowaki's half naked form. Water had beaded up on his chest and arms. His hair was still damp and tousled and probably smelled really good, just like the shampoo he used— the shampoo that Hiroki had bough specifically at the store just for Nowaki. It smelled slightly floral but still un-denyingly masculine. It smelled, as Hiroki imagined, like a pouring waterfall in a dark, lush forest, untouched by society and its spoils. He continued to stare at Nowaki's lean and sculpted body and the other man spoke.

"I was thinking that we should go on vacation soon. Summer is almost over and school will start back up."

He waited for a response. When there was none, Nowaki continued.

"I think it'd be nice if we could get away for a bit before well… you know… the baby… and school… Hey, Hiro-san, are you listening?"

"Hmmm?" He looked up. "Yeah, I'm listening."

"Anyway, what do you think?"

Hiroki fidgeted. He hadn't been paying attention, but he didn't want to admit that he had no idea what the tall man had said.

"Anything is fine with me."

"Okay, good. We can decide where we want to go after dinner. I got some information today on popular vacationing spots."

Nowaki looked at his watch and sighed. "I better go finish getting dressed."

He put his hands on Hiroki's hips before leaning down to give him a kiss.

Ah, Hiroki was right: Nowaki did smell good. He breathed in deeply as he grabbed the taller man's shoulders. Nowaki was about to pull away, but the smaller man's hands gripped him tightly. In response, he deepened the kiss while pushing Hiroki against the wall and grinding their bodies together. He felt the towel around his hips loosen with the motion, reminding him of how little was between their most private places. Nowaki unbuttoned his lover's pants and pulled them down along with Hiroki's boxers.

"Hiro-san," he groaned as their lips connected. He felt his way down his lover's body, down his arms and lean waist, over his hips, then he clenched the globes of Hiroki's naked ass and squeezed.

Nowaki trapped the smaller man between his body and the wall as he moved his hips in slow circles. The motion aroused him, and the bulge he felt against his towel told him that his lover was aroused too.

"Hiro-san," he whispered, breaking the kiss. Hiroki groaned at the loss of contact, only to then feel Nowaki's lips moving down to his neck. "I love you so much," he continued. "So much that my heart overflows with happiness every time I see you."

The hands clasping Hiroki's ass tightened as Nowaki began to lift his lover up. Hiroki hooked his legs around Nowaki's waist and surrendered his weight.

In order to help hold the man up, Nowaki pushed Hiroki's back against the wall harder. This made Hiroki's manhood notch against the space between Nowaki's legs. He groaned at the contact and rubbed their bodies together.

Nowaki kneaded Hiroki's ass as he sucked the smooth skin under his ear. This elicited a moan from the smaller man, and Nowaki decided it was time to deepen their connection. He brought his fingers to Hiroki's mouth and told him to suck. Once the fingers were wet, he lowered his hand to toy with Hiroki's puckered hole. He heard his lover's breathing hitch when he pushed a finger inside.

"You're tight today, Hiro-san," he said, pressing in farther past the tight ring of muscles.

Hiroki squirmed slightly as he adjusted to the intrusion. The finger pulled out and he moaned at the loss, but then a second finger joined the first to sink inside. Nowaki moved in and out, stopping sometimes to scissor his fingers, opening his lover up farther.

When Hiroki was breathing heavily and moaning softly, Nowaki pulled his fingers out so that he could drop the towel around his waist.

Nowaki closed his eyes and panted, "Do you want me to get some lube?" Please say no. Please say no. Please say no. He didn't think he had enough control to put the man down and walk over to the bedside table.

"N…No… Just… go in. Slowly."

"I don't want to hurt you."

Hiroki's hand stroked the side of his face. "You won't."

He grunted in response as he gripped his shaft and poised it at Hiroki's entrance. A slow thrust upwards had Hiroki moaning. The smaller man gripped Nowaki's shoulders at the next thrust, his nails digging into skin.

"Ah, Hiro-san," he moaned, "You feel so good."

The next push upwards had Nowaki pressing against the special spot inside Hiroki's ass. Hiroki cried out with the stimulation and the walls of his rectum clenched tightly around the invasion.

Hiroki began to bob up and down on Nowaki's erection.

The taller man, sensing his nearing orgasm, gripped Hiroki's shaft and rubbed up in down in time with his thrusts.

"Nowaki," he moaned. "I need more. Harder."

In response, the man gripped tighter as he pounded into his lover. He could feel Hiroki's impending release in the clenching of his muscles and the bead of sweat that dripped down the side of his face.

Seconds later, Hiroki's climax washed over him, shooting white streams over Nowaki's stomach. The rings in his ass tightened with ecstasy, spurring on Nowaki's own orgasm. Hot streaks blasted inside of Hiroki, filling up his every crevice.

They stood there for a moment breathing heavily before Nowaki carried his lover to the bed and laid him down. He got on his back next to him.

Hiroki breathed deeply as he endured the aftershocks of his orgasm.

Nowaki, ever the calm one, crossed his arms behind his head.

"I just took a shower. I seem to be sweaty and rather sticky again."

"Shut up!" Hiroki groaned without much force, covering his eyes with his forearm. "Your own fault…"

"I know." He turned onto his side to stare affectionately at the other man. "I love being sweaty if it's because of you." He ran his index finger over the white substance on his stomach. Once his finger was coated, he made a show of licking it off seductively.

Hiroki clenched his eyes tightly and wrinkled his nose. "That's gross, Nowaki."

"I disagree," he replied, licking up another fingertip of Hiroki's semen. "It's far from gross."

Nowaki pointedly looked down at Hiroki's exposed stomach. "It appears you got a little on you too. Do you want me to clean it up?"

"No!" he exclaimed, pushing the man's hand away.

"Are you sure," he teased, eyes twinkling. "I would be more than happy to help."

Hiroki squirmed, slightly uncomfortable. "Look, if you want to do it, go ahead, fine by me."

Nowaki leaned down the lick the pearly white substance off his lover's stomach.

"Mmmm, you taste so good, Hiro-san," he sighed. His tongue moved over the smooth planes of his abdomen as he lapped up Hiroki's semen. It was sweet like usual, and had a slightly syrupy consistency.

Once Hiroki was thoroughly cleaned, Nowaki leaned back on the bed and exhaled loudly. "I suppose we should go get cleaned for real now," the tall man mused.

"I don't wanna," Hiroki whined and curled up next to Nowaki's side.

"Too bad. We'll take a shower together. I'll be sure to be gentle with you after our recent play."

The tall man scooped his lover up in his arms before standing and walking into the bathroom.

**I have to admit, I am that loser who goes back and re-reads reviews when I'm feeling down. Please make me very happy by reviewing. I am shameless in my pleading.**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

Hiroki lay down on the couch listening to Nowaki book a flight. His voice was very calm and warm as he talked to the person on the other end of the phone. Closing his eyes, he imagined himself and his lover on the beach with the sun and sand. It was odd, he realized, he never did enjoy romping around in salt water. The salt tended to stick in his swim trunks and dry out his skin. Sunscreen was oily and made him smell funny. But the last time he went to the beach was a few years before he met Nowaki, and he might enjoy it if he was with the other man. Nowaki probably looked great with a swimsuit on. His tan skin would glisten with water droplets as he got out of the ocean. When he felt the cool breeze against his wet body, he might get goose bumps. Yeah, Hiroki could just picture it now.

He jerked when a warm hand landed on his head.

"Hey, are you okay? It looked like you were falling asleep."

Hiroki shook his head. "Nope, I'm good. Just daydreaming I guess. I'm excited for our vacation," he admitted. "It's been awhile since I've seen the ocean."

"Hmmm…" Nowaki mused. "I can't remember the last time I've been there. I never went on any vacations previous to meeting you. The orphanage didn't have a lot of money to take us places."

"It's not all that it's cracked up to be, believe me. The sand gets everywhere and the salt gets everywhere and the wind blows your hair everywhere—" He stopped when he saw Nowaki's worried expression.

"I thought you wanted to go there, Hiro-san. We don't have to go there just cause I want to. We can find someplace else to go. I don't want to pressure you into the beach if you don't like it."

"No, no, it's good. Really." Hiroki looked away before saying, "Besides, if I'm with you then anywhere we go will be fun."

Nowaki leaned down to kiss his forehead.

"Then the beach it is," Nowaki said in his sappy-in-love-voice as he rested a hand on his lover's cheek, "I'm looking forward to it, Hiro-san."

"It's not 'till a long time away. Don't get too excited."

The hotel closest to the beach was booked all through summer, so the two decided to wait until the fall semester began to leave for vacation. They had already informed Hiroki's superiors at work that he would be missing a week. Besides, Hiroki thought, it wasn't like his students would mind one class being cancelled.

"I know we're not leaving until a few months. But still, I'm very excited. I can't help it." He threw his arms up with joy, grinning wildly. "Just the thought of swimming in the ocean with you makes me so happy that I feel as if my heart will burst."

"Whoa, slow down. Deep breaths. We aren't going until a few weeks after school starts. There's plenty of time to be excited later. Now is the time for us to make dinner. I'm really hungry." He clenched his stomach. "I didn't eat lunch."

"Hiro-san!" Nowaki scolded. "You know you need to eat lunch every day no matter what. You're eating for two now; you can't continue on with your old eating habits of skipping meals."

"I know, I know," Hiroki said, waving him off. "I wasn't hungry and I didn't feel like eating. My stomach hurt."

"You shouldn't wait to feel hungry before eating."

No reply.

"Well, did you at least take the vitamins and hormone supplements the doctor gave you?"

Hiroki nodded.

"Good. No matter what, you can't forget to take the pills. Ever. The baby needs them."

"I'm not five, Nowaki. I won't forget. I don't need you to remind me."

Nowaki withdrew his hand from its resting position on Hiroki's body. "Well, it appears that I do need to remind you as you keep forgetting to eat."

"Ugggh," Hiroki groaned, exasperated, "Look, it's been several weeks since I've skipped a meal. No big deal. Stop worrying."

He immediately regretted his words when Nowaki recoiled and frowned.

"Fine then. I won't worry." The words were terse and bitter, controlled and civilized but with an angry twinge.

Nowaki stood up and left the room.

Great, Hiroki thought, just what he needed. Nowaki was angry at him. But it wasn't like his words were his fault. When he was hungry he got irritable and didn't think.

He contemplating going into the kitchen to apologize, but he had no energy to get off the couch. Damn, he really shouldn't skip meals anymore. His stomach clenched in hunger and pain and he rolled onto his side to curl up, trying to ignore the ache.

He stayed like that until he heard Nowaki getting plates down from the cabinet. Dinner was ready, and Hiroki really didn't want to face the other man. He was probably still angry.

Hiroki entered the kitchen but didn't say anything. Nowaki had his back turned as he put ice into two water glasses. He silently grabbed the bowl of noodles sitting on the counter and brought it to the table.

An awkward silence filled the air as neither man spoke. They sat in their chairs and spooned food onto their plates, but they didn't make eye contact or begin eating. They just sat there, completely unmoving.

Hiroki could feel his hunger and the urge to dig into the noodles, but he didn't want to be the one to break the silence. They sat there for a few long seconds before Hiroki gave in and began to eat ravenously.

He gave a peek at Nowaki in-between mouthfuls. The other man was watching him, so he quickly looked back down to his food.

His stomach didn't feel any better now that he had eaten a little. If anything, he felt worse. He pushed away his plate and rested his head on his hand.

"What? Done already?"

"I'm not hungry anymore."

"You need to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"Hiro-san," Nowaki said, his voice softening with the use of his lover's nickname. "Please eat more."

"I don't feel good, Nowaki. I don't want to eat now." He folded his arms on the table and lay his head down. The food he had eaten just made his stomach worse. Nausea made him feel like he was going to throw up and he didn't want to get sick in front of Nowaki.

He heard Nowaki get up from his seat and walk around the table. A hand began to rub his back.

"What hurts?"

"My stomach," he mumbled into the table.

The hand moved up to tangle in his hair.

"Do you want me to carry you to bed to lie down?"

His gut reaction was to say no, but he decided that it would feel better to lie down. "Yeah."

Nowaki put one arm under Hiroki's legs and his other arm supported his back and he lifted the man up. Hiroki's hadn't started showing his baby bump yet and he was still pretty small comparatively; Nowaki could carry him easily.

The ride from the kitchen to their bedroom jostled Hiroki with every step. It stirred up his stomach until he felt the sour squeezing in his chest familiar to throwing up.

"Nowaki!" he screeched as he swatted that the other man. "Put me down!" As soon as his feet touched the floor, Hiroki scrambled into the bathroom.

Nowaki ran after him and found him kneeling in front of the toilet. Vomit poured into the bowl as Hiroki wretched.

Knowing that Hiroki wouldn't want him to watch, Nowaki turned away to get a wet washcloth. He waited until the older man was finished to reach out and rub his back.

"Hiro-san, you all right?"

He moaned in reply.

"Here, you can wipe your face with this," he cooed, handing him the washcloth.

His hand didn't take the offering.

"Come on, Hiro-san, I'll help you get cleaned up and then I'll get you to bed."

"It's red."

"What's red?"

"That!" Hiroki groaned, signaling the toilet. "The water! I didn't eat anything red today." His voice rose as he panicked. "Why is it red, Nowaki?"

He peered over to look and tried to remain calm for Hiroki's sake.

"It's not red, Hiro-san. It's pink. The red diluted in the water"

"Red, pink, what's the difference? It's blood! People don't just barf blood up for no reason! I don't want to die, Nowaki!" His terror caused him to grip the other man's pants as he continued to sob, "I don't want to die!"

"No, don't say that," Nowaki said softly, taking Hiroki into his arms. "We were told that something like this might happen. Your body is not meant to carry a baby. Your intestines and stomach is moving around to adjust to the changes." Nowaki rubbed his lover's head. If he was throwing up blood only a couple months after conception, then Hiroki was going to get much sicker as the baby grew.

"I'm not meant to have a baby. Is this God's punishment to me for going against nature?"

"Hiro-san, we were told to expect something like this. Don't be afraid. After I get you in bed I'll call the doctor and tell him what happened. Don't worry."

Hiroki felt numb as he allowed Nowaki to clean him up and tuck him in.

Once again, he listened as Nowaki's voice as he talked to someone on the phone.

**Um, sorry that this was dramatic. I couldn't help it.**

**_Purplegurl156_: I know I said that I would write Hiroki on top, and I will, but I just need to figure out where the appropriate place is. I don't know when it will be, but it will happen eventually. P.S., Your review made me giggle. :)**

**So I'm really sad because something is going wrong with my double majoring. I've been allowed to do it because all my classes get little credit hours for the actually amount of time I'm in class (One class I'm taking gets 3 credit hours and I'm in class for 10 hours a week!) and then I don't even get credit for some of my music classes. Because my majors are completely unrelated, there's a LOT of classes that I have to take. They extended the number of credit hours you can take for me already cause the councilors allowed me to, but now there is a "complication" and I have to go in and talk with them on Monday! Wish me luck, I don't want to choose between pre-med and music!**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

After Nowaki left the bedroom, he called the doctor on his cell phone. It rang for awhile before he answered. Dr. Sato's voice was dry and scratchy, like he'd just woken up.

"Uh, hello? This is Nowaki Kusama…" He hesitated before continuing. "I… I'm sorry for bothering you so late, but something happened." Nowaki told him everything from that night, including Hiroki skipping lunch and bloody vomit. Before, when he was around his lover, he pretended not to be worried for Hiroki's sake, but inside he was wracked with anxiety.

The doctor listened patiently before responding.

"I told you something like this might happen. Although I want you to come in for tests, I don't think you have anything to worry about. The growing fetus is putting pressure on his stomach and intestines, mostly his stomach. As the stomach is being pushed around a bit, it creates blood."

"Oh," Nowaki sighed, relieved, "That's all then?"

"Well, yes, but also no. I don't know how long this will last. It will probably be about a week as his stomach adjusts. Whenever he eats he will get sick because the stomach isn't used to digesting in its new shape. Just be careful that he drinks enough fluids to make up for what he loses."

Nowaki didn't know how to respond. His voice rose with frustration. "He can't throw up every time he eats. How will he get any nutrition? And calories? He needs energy? And the baby needs him to eat too."

"Well… It's not that simple. You have several options. The best, in my opinion, is just to let this phase run its course. A week or so won't hurt him drastically. Whatever nutrients his body takes in before his body regurgitates it should be enough to keep him going."

"I don't know…" Nowaki chewed the side of his lip as he thought. He knew the doctor was right, but he couldn't help worrying. He didn't want Hiro-san to be throwing up constantly.

"Well, you could have him stay in the hospital for a week. If we do that, then he could receive nutrients from an IV."

He flopped down on the couch and ran his fingers through his hair. "I want to say yes to that… but I don't know how Hiroki would feel… He wouldn't like staying in a hospital… but if it would be better for him…" He debated back and forth until the doctor cut it.

"Better isn't always what is best. He should be comfortable."

After a few more words the conversation ended, and Nowaki went to bed.

Lying down, Nowaki watched his sleeping lover. Though Hiroki was completely still, Nowaki had plenty to look at: the way that Hiroki's abs moved up and down as he breathed deeply, the way his lips were parted open just the tiniest bit, and the way his head rested on the pillow lightly and carefree.

Watching the sleeping man, Nowaki soon felt his cock swell. It perturbed him; after all, Hiroki was sick and defenseless in sleep, and yet he was thinking of sex? He tried to push the carnal thoughts out of his mind and concentrate on sleep.

He lay perfectly still for several minutes, but he couldn't stop imagining how beautiful Hiroki was, especially when Nowaki was on top of him and thrusting into him.

"Ahh," Nowaki groaned in frustration. He had to stop thinking about that!

He turned away from Hiroki and closed his eyes. Despite his mental protests, his imagination kept on turning back to Hiroki. Sleep overcame him much later, and all the while he thought delicious thoughts of his lover.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

_The next morning._

"The hell I'm staying in a hospital for a week!"

"But Hiro-san, you will get all the nutrition and food your body needs there."

"No. Not gonna happen." Hiroki turned around and began to stomp away, signaling the end of the conversation.

Nowaki grabbed his arm. "Please! Just think about it," he pleaded, "You won't get sick there and it will be healthier!"

Hiroki jerked his arm away and frowned. "I told you already. No."

"But Hiro-san—"

"No!" he exploded. "I don't need to feel like any more of a freak than I do already!"

"Wha…" he said, softening, "Hiro-san, you're not a freak…"

"Yes, I am! I'm a pregnant man!" Hiroki clenched his eyes and whispered through gritted teeth, "How is that normal?"

"No, it's not normal, but it doesn't make you a freak. Besides, I don't want you to be normal."

Hiroki didn't respond, so Nowaki walked over to the smaller man and hugged him tightly to his chest.

"Besides, my opinion is the only one that matters. And I love you being pregnant." He leaned down so that he was looking straight into Hiroki's face. "I absolutely_ adore_ it." Hiroki's eyes opened with surprise when he felt a soft kiss on his lips. "So don't worry. Nothing could ever change how I feel about you."

Nowaki encircled Hiroki's waist with his hands and rubbed. "Soon," he continued, looking down at his lover's abdomen, "you will grow with my baby, and I must admit, the thought of you growing full and round with my child makes me unbearably excited. So excited," he whispered into his ear, "that I feel as if I am going burst any moment."

Hiroki's eyes lowered at the confession. Why did Nowaki have to be so comforting?

"I… ah… I feel the same."

"I know," Nowaki said affectionately as he nuzzled the soft skin of Hiroki's neck, "I can tell."

At those words, Hiroki decided that he had reached his daily quota of fluffy love talk. He pushed Nowaki away and strengthened his voice. "But don't think that just cause I'm pregnant it means that I'm gonna be all sappy with you. I'm not _that_ hormonal."

Nowaki smirked. "Of course not, Hiro-san. However, you are on some pretty intense hormonal supplements; you never know what will happen."

"In your dreams," Hiroki replied tersely.

"How'd you know?"

Hiroki's jaw dropped.

"Because," Nowaki continued as he leaned down," just last night you were in my dreams."

He waited a moment for dramatic flair.

"Do you want to know what you were doing?"

Hiroki quickly cleared out his shock. He flapped his hands side to side to reject Nowaki's question as he shook his head. "No,no, no, that's quite alright."

Nowaki ignored him and began to relay the events of his dream. "It was really quite scandalous. I didn't know you had it in you. I mean, usually I'm the one in control. But nonetheless it was hot. Actually, it was more than hot. It was absolutely scorching." He said the last word so sensually and slowly that Hiroki froze.

"Do you want me to continue?"

"I… ugh…" Hiroki didn't know what to say. A small, _very small_, part of him wanted to know more, but he couldn't admit that.

"Hmm… maybe I'll show you later this week, or maybe even tonight what happened in my dream. I'm sure you'll enjoy it just as much as I did." Nowaki was speaking lower now as he replayed the events of his dream in his head."

Nowaki gave a long sigh as a smile graced his face. "Yes, I'm sure you will enjoy it."

"Don't imagine me naked!" Hiroki screeched indignantly.

Nowaki played innocent. "What? Who says I was imagining you naked?"

"Don't pretend you weren't?"

"Oh, Hiro-san, when did you become so feisty?" he teased.

Hiroki became red and flustered as he scrunched up his face. "You are like a giant over-sized five year old! Remind me again why I'm with you?"

Nowaki suddenly became serious. "Because you love me."

Hiroki just crossed his arms and looked away. An awkward silence fell upon them.

After several long moments, Nowaki spoke.

"You don't have to stay in the hospital if you don't want to."

"Stupid," Hiroki mumbled, "I wasn't going to stay there in the first place. It's not like I need your permission to do what I want."

"No, you don't need my permission. But I know that you want my approval to stay here for the next week."

"Yeah, well…"

"Hiro-san, I love you so much! Just promise me that you'll be careful here."

"Of course I'm being careful!"

"I know you are, but for my own sanity please just…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know."

Nowaki smiled and leaned down to kiss Hiroki lightly.

"Thank you."

**So, it's been awhile, but I had finals and I had so many end of the year concerts/recitals and I got a part time job! I am now an assistant pointe instructor. Which is weird, but apparently you don't need a degree to be an assistant in dance. I did ballet/pointe all the way up until I entered college, and they just tested me on my skill level and I got the job! It's just beginner pointe, so nothing too interesting, but I'm still very excited! Sorry, I'm so excited that I couldn't help but share, even thought you folks probably aren't reading this…**

**Delia Cerrano, yes, Hiroki is older and smaller. :)  
><strong>

**Purplegurl156, I'm trying to prepare it, but I feel like what I did didn't suffice, so I'll probably have to think of something different...  
><strong>


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

"I am so hungry," Hiroki moaned. "Can I eat now?"

"No, Hiro-san," Nowaki replied patiently.

Hiroki widened his eyes pleadingly and groaned. Nowaki was always so nurturing— and let's face it, a complete wimp when it came to Hiroki's desires— maybe if he played helpless, Nowaki would give in.

"No, Hiro-san," came the same patient answer. This time, Nowaki had turned away, obviously pretending to fiddle with some trinket in his pocket.

_Damn._ Why wasn't Nowaki looking at him? If only the tall man would look him in the eyes, Hiroki was sure that he would get his way.

"But Nowaki..." he whined pathetically.

His head was still turned away, a fact that annoyed Hiroki endlessly. He had just degraded himself to whining (and Kamijous don't whine unless absolutely necessary), and now stupid Nowaki wasn't even looking?

"Please don't do this, Hiro-san. You know that I want to... but I just can't."

"Yes, you can." Hiroki waited a moment before continuing, "If you love me, then you will let me eat something."

Nowaki faced him, a frown darkening his normally placid face. This frown was different than usual. It wasn't the normal playful pout he used when pretending to be hurt by Hiroki's antics; this was a real frown, complete with downturned lips and angry eyes.

"Don't say that. You know that I love you."

Hiroki didn't know how to respond to this side of Nowaki.

"I... uh..."

"Hiro-san, I am just doing what I was told to do. Please try not to give me a hard time."

Hiroki scowled and leaned back on the couch, completely giving up the pathetic and helpless facade. He supposed Nowaki did have a point, albeit a small one. But he just didn't give a crap about this so-called 'point.' He was just so hungry.

Almost a week had passed since the first time Hiroki had thrown up. Since then, he has attempted eating, but a half hour after any food enters his stomach, it comes back up.

It was absolutely disgusting in Hiroki's opinion. Having nasty pink gut soup ejected out through his mouth every day for a week was most definitely NOT on his bucket list.

Nowaki had been so caring over the week. He had done all of the household chores and both metaphorically and literally fluffed Hiroki's pillows every hour. But now, he was ignoring the only thing Hiroki really wanted: food. The sick man didn't even care that he would throw up! He just wanted something to eat.

Nowaki insisted that Hiroki was fine, that he didn't need food, that the nutritional supplements were enough to keep him healthy for a week. But Hiroki knew differently. Maybe the supplements were keeping him healthy, but that didn't change the fact that he was hungry. Very hungry.

"Please, Hiro-san, just try not to think about it." Nowaki's demeanor was back to normal, all cuddly and cheerful. "The doctor said that you can eat again at dinner."

Hiroki flopped back on the couch and moaned, "But that's like six whole hours from now!"

Nowaki smirked and walked closer to him. "Would you like me to distract you until then?" he whispered in Hiroki's ear.

The smaller man shivered, food no longer on his mind.

"Well that depends," Hiroki teased, "How exactly would you be distracting me?"

"I think you know how."

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Later that evening after dinner plates had been cleared off the table and dishes washed, the two men sat down on the couch. Hiroki stretched back and sighed contently.

"I can't believe I didn't get sick." He closed his eyes and smacked his lips. "That was so good, Nowaki! It's been so long since I've been able to enjoy your cooking."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it," Nowaki replied as he took Hiroki's hand and stroked it. "I hope that you're done now throwing up after eating."

"Probably. The doctor said it would take about a week for my intestines to become good and happy with digestion. Either way, I don't think I can handle any more barfing."

Nowaki pulled Hiroki in close and wrapped him in his arms. "Well, hopefully you're done with it now." When Hiroki leaned his head on Nowaki's chest and relaxed into him, Nowaki continued, "Now that you're better, do you think you'll be okay here by yourself when I'm at work?"

"Stupid Nowaki, you didn't have to stay here the past week with me."

"But I wanted to be with you while you were sick."

"Still, work is important."

Nowaki nuzzled the top of Hiroki's head. "I know it's important, but if you weren't feeling good I couldn't just leave you here alone." He began to sprinkle kissed over his lover's hair. It was soft and felt good against Nowaki's lips.

"I would've been fine," Hiroki protested, attempting to push Nowaki away.

"Fine isn't good enough for my Hiro-san." Nowaki held on to Hiroki's waist tightly. "But I really must go back to work tomorrow. I need to make money; babies are expensive. Besides, they depend on me at work."

Hiroki wiggled his way out of Nowaki's arms and looked up at him. "Don't we make enough money now to take care of him?"

"Him? What makes you think it's going to be a him?"

"Nothing," Hiroki replied absently. "Maybe it will be a her. I don't know, but I don't want to call him an 'it.' Anyway, answer the question."

Nowaki sighed and stared at the ceiling. "I don't want to just be able to care for the baby. I want to be able to give him everything he wants." A joyful smile graced his face as he continued, "I want him to have dolls, music lessons, toy trains—"

"DON'T TALK ABOUT TOY TRAINS!" the professor burst out.

Then, seeing Nowaki's confused and slightly afraid face, Hiroki calmed down. A shiver raced down his spine. "Toy trains just… remind me of someone."

Nowaki stared at him before shaking his head. "Anyway, I never got anything special when I was younger. I want my child to have everything that I never got. You know, silly things like chocolate cake, basketballs, and nice clothes. College too. I don't want him to have to work as much as I did in order to make it through school."

"Nowaki," Hiroki began, his face softening, "we'll have enough money. Don't worry. You make a lot as a doctor, and I make money too. It'll be fine."

"But what if it's not fine? You never know what will happen."

"Ppft," Hiroki sighed, leaning back on the couch, "We both have steady jobs; nothing will happen. Don't be such a worry wart."

**I feel like this was really confusing… Was it?**

**So I haven't updated in a really long time, and I'm sorry. I just have no motivation to write. I feel like people don't like my story because I only get reviews from like the same three people over and over again, and as much as I love those three people's reviews, I need some more inspiration. **

**I feel like my story isn't good enough, because I'm sure that there are 50 other stories just like this one online somewhere (though I have only read half as many as I should have), and I'm afraid that this one is boring, cliché, and badly written.**

**Please give me some motivation to write, as it would help me out a lot.**

**And I think I am going to get rid of all of the sex scenes that I wrote so far because of the fiasco that fanfiction is going through right now. FF said that they were only going to get rid of "explicit" stories, but I'm not sure if mine are explicit or not… I mean, if you're writing sex, how can if NOT be explicit?**


	19. Chapter 19

**So it's been awhile since I've updated, and I'm super sorry. Really, I am! **

**Unfortunately, I lent my older brother the flashdrive that had this chapter on it so that he could scan computer programs that he needs onto it. Then he decides, "Oh, there's not enough room on this. I'll just delete EVERYTHING so that my stuff fits." **

**You can thank SicklyPerverted, because her review made me realize that I was being "one of those people" who starts a story and then doesn't finish it. I feel animosity towards those people; I refuse to become one of them.**

**It's not half as good as it was originally, and I'm sorry for that. It's been so long that I don't even really remember what I wrote… so this is a sad imitation of what it was supposed to be. **

Chapter Nineteen

Nowaki dropped his knife when he heard a loud moan come from the bathroom. All kinds of horrible images running through his mind, he bolted out of the kitchen.

He reached he entranceway to their bathroom. Then he froze.

"Hiro-san?"

At the mention of his name, Hiroki turned around.

"Go away," he muttered. "I'm fine."

He was flushed a brilliant red, but Nowaki wasn't sure why.

"What's wrong?" He took a step forward, holding out his arms to take the man into a hug.

"I told you, I'm fine!" Hiroki yelled, bolted backwards. "Leave me alone!"

Nowaki ignored him.

"Stop! Don't take another step!"

"Hiro-san, what's wrong?"

Hiroki debated for a moment whether to continue, but then he sunk to the floor and gave up. Nowaki was going to see sooner or later. He might as well get the embarrassment over with.

Nowaki leaned down in front of him. He put two fingers under his chin and lifted up.

Hiroki swallowed. "You don't have to look at it, you know." He closed his eyes tightly, not wanting to see the laughter in Nowaki's eyes.

But no laughter came. "Isn't what horrible?"

Hiroki rolled his eyes like it was obvious. "My face. Don't pretend like you don't see it."

"Hiro-san. You are beautiful."

He stroked his hands over Hiroki's cheeks, trying to soothe the man, but it only seemed to freak him out further.

Hiroki grabbed the hands on his face and yanked them away. "Don't touch it. That's so gross."

Nowaki frowned. "You could never be gross. Now tell me what's wrong."

Hiroki took a deep breath. Then, slowly, he pointed to his face, right where Nowaki's hands were moments before.

"What? Do you mean your pimples?"

Hiroki balked. _Oh my god_. He just said the p-word. This was beyond mortifying.

"It's not that bad, Hiro-san. Don't worry."

He pushed Nowaki's hands away. "Not that bad? How do you consider this as not bad?"

Nowaki grimaced. He hated it when Hiroki degraded himself. Why couldn't the man see that he was perfect? "Please, Hiro-san, don't worry. Really, I wouldn't have noticed except that you pointed them out."

"Come on, don't pretend they're not obvious."

"Don't say that…"

"I would never lie to you." They really weren't that bad. True, his skin looked worse than Nowaki had ever seen it, but he was still beautiful. Hiroki had mentally exacerbated the few blemishes on his face until he thought they were practically small mountains.

"They're huge. And now my face is red and ugly."

"Pimples are quite common around the two month period. Your hormones are just trying to adjust. And you could never be ugly, Hiro-san. Don't worry."

Hiroki doubled over, hiding his face in his palms. "And I was supposed to go drop some papers off at Miyagi's today too! I can't face him like this."

"Don't touch them. It'll make it worse," Nowaki said softly. He reached out to grab the man's hands and bring them down off his face.

Hiroki just went on like he didn't hear Nowaki speak. "I just won't go. He probably won't even remember I was coming." He nodded viciously like it was the perfect solution."

"Hiro-san, I don't think it's a good idea for you to ignore your work. Miyagi won't notice your pimples. They're really very small." Nowaki smiled to calm him down. "I can go with you if you want?"

Hiroki laughed. "Won't notice? Oh, he'll notice all right. That man is like a vulture when it comes to my humiliation."

Nowaki didn't comment. He didn't like Miyagi. Whenever Nowaki saw them together, Miyagi was hanging off of his Hiro-san like a leech. Their touchy feely attitude irritated him. Nobody else was allowed to touch Hiro-san like that.

He had already told Hiroki his concerns, but they were brushed off. He insisted that Miyagi wasn't serious.

Nowaki didn't really care if Miyagi was serious or not. Regardless, no matter the intentions, he didn't want anyone else touching Hiro-san.

He didn't want to be annoying though, so he didn't comment on his distaste for Hiroki's coworker.

"Do you want me to get you some cucumbers for your face?"

"What'll that do?"

Nowaki shrugged. "I heard that it was good for inflammation."

The man scowled. "Fine. I'll stay here, awaiting my doom."

"You're so cute, Hiro-san."

Hiroki just sank down further into the ground.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

"Hiro-san, what's that on your head? You'll overheat!"

"It's just a beanie. It won't kill me."

Nowaki frowned. "The head is one of the major heat releasing points in the body. It's too hot outside; the accumulating warmth won't be good for the baby."

"And how big is the fetus right now?" he asked sarcastically. "A grain of rice? A jellybean? It'll be fine."

"Hiro-san, why are you even wearing a beanie? You usually don't wear it except in winter."

He reached over to snatch the hat off of Hiroki's head, but the man held it tightly to his head. "No! Don't take it!" But Nowaki was taller and stronger; he easily pulled it off. "Miyagi will see! Give it back!"

"Hiro-san, you have more self-confidence than that. Don't try to cover up your forehead pimples with a silly hat. You are beautiful no matter what. In fact"— he smiled as he decided how to phrase the next sentence— "you are so beautiful that every moment I get to spend with you makes my heart feels as though it is going to burst." He spread his arms wide to simulate how full he was of love.

Hiroki just scowled. There is no reasoning with Nowaki when he is like this, when he is all _Ah, my Hiro-san is so cute! I just want to hug him and cuddle him and love him all day long! _Hiroki scoffed. He was a man. Men weren't cute. Or beautiful.

But he did love Nowaki. And if there was one thing that he knew for sure, it was that Nowaki was the most beautiful man he had ever seen. So maybe, just maybe, it was possible for a man to be called beautiful. But Nowaki was an exception…

"You too. I love you too."

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Hiroki eyed the doorbell. Maybe he should just leave it on the doorstep. He wouldn't have to see Miyagi and he'd be spared his humiliation. But then there'd be no way to guarantee that the man got the documents.

He debated with himself until Nowaki put a hand on his shoulder. Before Hiroki could stop him, he reached out and rang the doorbell.

"Stupid Nowaki!" he hisssed, "What'd you do that for? Now he's gonna answer!"

"Oh. I'm sorry, Hiro-san. I thought you wanted him to answer."

_Damn_. Why did Nowaki have to look at him with those big eyes? Those big puppy dog eyes that made it impossible to be mad at him. Hiroki looked away so that he didn't get drawn further into their depths.

"No, I actually _didn't_ want him to answer." He furrowed his brows into an angry line. "Don't assume you know what I want."

Now it was Nowaki's turn to look away. His shoulders slumped, and Hiroki immediately felt bad for getting angry.

"Hey, don't worry. It's okay, you didn't do anything wrong."

Nowaki's face blossomed into a giant smile. "Oh, Hiro-san, you make me so happy."

Then the shorter man was swept up into a tight embrace, their chests pressing together. He couldn't breathe, so he tried to wiggle a little to make some space for his rib cage to expand.

But then, the door opened.

Nowaki's face slowly turned to face Miyagi. He tried not to glare at the man, he really did. It was just so hard to keep his smile intact while looking at Miyagi.

Hiroki immediately pushed Nowaki away. Now that Miyagi was here, he wanted to get out of there as fast as he could. Every moment was another moment that he risked exposing his blemished face.

He didn't look Miyagi in the eye, creating as much distance between them as possible.

"Here's some documents you need," he said quickly. "Everything is in the folder. Call me if you need something else." He then grabbed Nowaki's hand and began to drag him off the doorstep.

"Hey, wait. Kamijou! What's the rush?"

"No, no, there's no rush. I'm just—"

As screech from inside stopped Hiroki mid-sentence.

A boy appeared next to Miyagi in the doorframe. When he saw Hiroki, he immediately glowered and narrowed his eyes.

"Miyagi, what are you doing talking to _him_?" The spat the word like Hiroki was vile.

Hiroki felt hot anger rising in his body. Where'd the little brat get off saying things like that? He wanted to throw something at him, something big and heavy. His hands clenched and released, itching to feel a hardback book between his fingers.

Miyagi would be angry when he was done with the boy, but it didn't matter. It was a necessary sacrifice.

Miyagi turned to face the boy. "Come now, Shinobu-chin, don't be like that. Kamijou isn't that bad."

Shinobu lowered his voice in an angry whisper, but Hiroki could still hear.

"I don't want you talking to that man-whore, Miyagi. Every time you see him you—"

"No, it's not like that!" Miyagi opened his eyes wide and shook his head. "You know I'm just playing with him!"

Shinobu's hand shot out to wrap around Miyagi's tie. He pulled the man down.

He spoke through gritted teeth. "Well, maybe if you weren't playing with him so much, then you'd be home more to play with me." His eyes flashed as he heaved in anger.

Miyagi sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I've never… It's not like that." He tried to worm his way out of the impending argument— Shinobu could be rather aggressive when it came to Hiroki—but his defeat was imminent.

His head was pulled down even further. They were almost level now.

Shinobu looked him straight in the eye and growled low in his chest. "Make him go away."

Miyagi looked at Hiroki sheepishly, silently pleading him to do as the boy asked.

They were all too happy to comply. Shinobu made them both uncomfortable. The boy was so small compared to how scary he was. It was creepy.

They were walking away when a shout came from behind them.

"Hey Kamijou, I think you need to switch face soaps." Hiroki heard Miyagi giggle. "I'm not sure whether you're washing your face with pizza or fried chicken, but whatever it is, it's not working."

Hiroki froze, absolutely mortified.

Nowaki felt his hands clench into fists. He looked down, trying to calm himself.

_Violence is bad. Violence is bad._ He repeated the words to himself. _Punching is not okay._

There was another chuckle from behind them.

Nowaki took a deep breath, but the laughter continued.

He turned around, feeling his anger bursting. His face was red and angry as he yelled, "Don't talk to Hiro-san like that!"

The two in the doorframe stilled, shocked by Nowaki's outburst. He was usually so calm and passive…

"No matter what Hiro-san looks like, he will always be infinitely more beautiful than you. Not only on the outside, but also on the inside!" Once the words started, they poured from his mouth like a waterfall. "You are an adult! Learn to act like one! Stop being a bully and get over yourself!" When he was finished, Nowaki stood still. His breathing was fast and erratic. He had never said something so reckless and mean…

He felt Hiroki's hand come around his wrist. He let himself be pulled away from Miyagi's apartment.

They walked in silence. Neither knew what to say. Hiroki was embarrassed about his skin; Nowaki was embarrassed about his actions.

Hiroki was the first to break the silence.

"You didn't have to do that, you know." He looked down at his shoes as he mumbled the words.

"Actually, I did."

They walked past a few stores without saying more. The sun was just beginning it's descent, casting shadows on the sidewalk. Nowaki watched the black outlines as they walked along. Their height difference was accentuated from the low position of the sun, stretching out their bodies. It made Nowaki feel strangely protective of Hiroki. He put his arms around Hiroki's shoulders and pulled him closer as they walked. The silence wasn't awkward; rather, it was comforting. They had both always been able to find solace in each other's mere presence.

A few minutes passed before Nowaki continued.

"I've never liked Miyagi. This just reaffirms my feelings towards him."

He moved his hand over to ruffle Hiroki's hair.

Feeling the hand resting in his hair, the shorter man looked away. Then, he slowly grabbed Nowaki's arm and trailed his fingers down the length until their hands were next to close. He entwined their fingers together and squeezed.

Nowaki squeezed back and didn't let go until they reached their apartment.

**As I was re-typing this… I realized that mpreg is kinda one of the weirdest things I've ever encountered. And then I realized that all mpregs kinda sound the same. **

**I realize that this chapter is cliché. It was less cliché before my brother deleted the file, I promise.**

**Since I had to write this twice, you should all be good little reviewers. It would make me super duper happy!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Sorry about my abnormally late update. I was taking 20 credit hours last semester, 9 of them honors, and it was a slow and painful death. Summer is basically over now, but it did not give me a reprieve because I was helping with research and stuff relating to that. And then I realized that this chapter sucks because I had waited too long to write it and chronologically everything was messed up. To be honest, I can't remember what I wrote.**

**Sigh. Only myself to blame.**

**And yes, I did change my name on here. I wanted to be more mysterious. I think I succeeded.**

* * *

><p>"Get off me, you dufus."<p>

"But Hiro-san—"

"No. Off. Now."

"But—"

Hiroki grit his teeth. "If you don't move, you know what will happen, right?"

Nowaki whined pathetically and crawled off of Hiroki's lap. It was so warm on the small man's lap… so warm and so soft. But the looming punishment was not worth a few minutes curled up against his lover.

As the pregnancy progressed, Hiroki's patience had dropped. Their cuddling time had dropped along with it, a fact which Nowaki mourned daily. Sometimes however, Nowaki was in desperate want of some Hiro-san time, and when he was, he was determined to get it.

He made a pouty face and looked up pointedly at Hiroki, but the man had already gone back to reading his book.

Nowki furrowed his brows. _Fine. Looks like we have to do this the hard way._

He made a small whimper and pawed at his boyfriend's pant leg, noticing when Hiroki tensed. _Good_. Again, he gave a little nudge.

"Nowaki," came the growled warning, "you better watch yourself."

But Nowaki ignored the words and scootched closer to the man. He put on his cutest, most pleading face. "But Hiro-san… I love you."

"Dammit, Nowaki!" Hiroki slammed down his book on the couch. "Why'd you have to go and say something like that?"

"Because I love you."

"Nowaki." His tone was placating, like he was speaking to a child, yet he had a stern frown. "You can't just say that to me. I'm reading. When I'm reading, you know that I can't deal with distractions such as this."

"Of course, Hiro-san." Nowaki tried to pout, but failed miserably. He couldn't help it; whenever he was around Hiro-san, he was just so damn happy. Faking sadness was simply impossible.

"I'm serious." Hiroki stared down at the other man sternly.

But Nowaki just smiled.

"I'm _serious_, Nowaki. No funny business. I want to finish this book before dinner."

He waited for the bigger man to nod before he picked up his book.

A minute passed in silence. Nowaki stared up through the tops of his eyes at Hiroki, who was reading calmly.

_Now's my chance. _

Before Hiroki could gasp, Nowaki was on him. Large hands spread out over the smaller man's body before flattening on his thighs and gripping the hard muscle there.

A heavy _whack_ was landed on his head—the book, most likely.

"Nowaki! Off!"

Nowaki smirked, ignoring Hiroki's command. The other man wouldn't go any further than hitting him with the book. Hiroki was all bark, no bite. He would never seriously injure Nowaki, no matter how scary his threats were.

Quickly, Nowaki moved his hands up the smaller man's body until the were resting against the front of his hips, not exactly on his groin, but darn near close to it.

He watched Hiroki freeze, watched his eyelids drop and become heated. He sneered; this look was not uncommon, especially during foreplay. Nowaki knew it as Hiroki's I'm-aroused-but-too-strong-to-admit-it face, his lick-me-like-that-again face, his oh-god-just-put-it-in-me face.

He felt himself harden just thinking about it. Hiroki really was too sexy for his own good.

"Nowaki…" The words were hesitant and quiet, slightly breathy. "What exactly do you think you're doing?"

He looked up but didn't give a reply. Instead, he held Hiroki's gaze while gently massaging the flesh under his palms.

The smaller man opened his mouth as if to say something, but no sound came out. His jaw just hung open as he watched Nowaki's fingers slowly push the fabric of his shirt up, exposing his pregnant stomach. He was just barely beginning to show, but he was nonetheless embarrassed about it. Sometimes, he allowed Nowaki to caress it, but only because Nowaki's warm hands always felt good touching him.

Strong fingers smoothed over his small baby bump. He was only a few months along, so the bump was barely noticeable unless you were looking, but the feelings in that area seemed to have intensified. Hiroki knew it was probably all in his head, but he never wanted Nowaki to stop touching.

But then, the fingers halted.

Breathlessly, he glanced down.

"Idiot… What are you doing?"

Still, Nowaki didn't reply. He just sat there with an evil grin on his face, leaving his fingers ghosted over the flesh.

He didn't break their gaze as he leaned down, smirking.

"Nowaki, really now, I hardly think—"

Hiroki was struck silent by a warm tongue gliding over his stomach. All he could do was whimper, eyes sliding shut.

Nowaki continued to lick, making zigzags in wet pathways that made Hiroki shiver. When the tongue finally ended up burrowing into his belly button, the man couldn't help but gasp. It wasn't loud, but Nowaki had been listening, waiting to hear one of the soft noises that signified his lover's pleasure.

He pulled away slightly and licked his lips, letting his taste buds absorb the lingering flavor that was Hiro-san.

"Mmm… My Hiro-san is so yummy."

He leaned down, tongue extended, anxious to taste more of his lover, but a hard hand against his forehead pushed him away roughly.

"Oh my god, Nowaki! Did you really just say what I think you just said?"

"What?" Nowaki looked up, confused.

"You… You know what!" Hiroki's mouth was literally hanging open. Cheeks flushed pink, he gasped, "You cannot say that! I can't believe you actually just said that! _Yummy_? Really, _yummy_!"

"Yep! Hiro-san tastes so good, I just wanna lick every inch!"

He leaned back down to continue his treatment, but was roughly pushed away once again.

"Get off me, you big idiot. You just ruined the mood. Saying I'm yummy even though I'm a man."

"Aww, but Hiro-san… A man can be yummy and still be a man."

"No, Nowaki. Go finish dinner. The rice should be cooked by now."

Nowaki slowly crawled off the couch and stood up, completely dejected. He went into the kitchen and began stirring the rice. He was completely used to his lover's rejections, and although he understood, he wasn't happy about it. Every time Hiroki pushed him away, it hurt. It wasn't a big hurt, but still…

He was so caught up in his own thoughts that he wasn't prepared for the light kiss that soon landed against the back of his neck. Arms wrapped around him, holding him in place facing the counter.

"Nowaki," the lips whispered, moving against his skin, "Next time, use a different word. '_Yummy'_ just sounds so weird, so… weak. Kamijou the Devil can't be yummy, alright?"

The words were halted and awkward. Nowaki could tell that it was difficult for the other man to say. Hiroki never was very good at expressing what he wanted.

He turned around in Hiroki's arms and enveloped him in a giant hug, pressing down a kiss on the shorter man's temple.

"I'm sorry, Hiro-san. I will never describe you as yummy again." _Out loud_, he added silently.

"Good."

"I love you. Thank you for telling me."

"Sure, sure, just finish dinner. I'm hungry."

"Of course, Hiro-san."

Nowaki, happy because his lover had calmed down, smiled and began spooning the rice onto a plate. When he heard Hiroki make an unsure noise, like he wanted to say something but didn't know how to start, he put down the plate and turned to face him.

"Yes, Hiro-san?"

"Well, you see, I got a call from my mother today."

"Ah, yes, and how is Lady Kamijou?"

"Fine, just fine I think."

"I know you were never very close to her as a child, but I'm glad that you two still have a relationship."

"Yeah, I guess." Hiroki fisted the hem of his shirt and began tugging it between his fingers. Looking at the ground nervously, he continued, "Ah, see, she wants to come visit me. Us, actually. But I don't know how you'd feel about that. You've never met her and she can be a lot to handle."

The second Hiroki saw a giant smile cover Nowaki's face, he knew he was done for. Nowaki was not supposed to be _happy _with the prospect of meeting his mother! He was supposed to run screaming for the hills.

"Oh, Hiro-san! I think that's a wonderful idea!"

"But, uh, you are very different people. Maybe it's best if you two don't meet quite yet."

"I would still love to meet her, Hiro-san. I want to know the mother of the man I love."

Hiroki cursed silently. He should never have even brought it up. Lady Kamijou didn't even know he was gay! Sure, she was aware that he was living with another man, but that in no way translates to being in a gay relationship. She would not take the news well. What was worse, she would tell her husband. Hiroki's father was a stern, old-fashioned man. He would never understand. No, he would not allow them to meet.

And if they ever found out that he was pregnant… No. It would not end well for either party.

* * *

><p>The weekend soon passed and Monday reared it's ugly head once again. It was a long day. As the past couple of weeks had gone by and his belly had begun protruding the slightest bit more, Hiroki had found it necessary to slack off on grading. He was always tired and had no patience or energy for his students' thoughtless essays and tests. What was worse, the changes in his body were becoming unbearable.<p>

The worst of his current "pregnancy-pains," as he had so dubbed them, was his stomach cramping. He just wanted to curl up in a ball for hours on end and do nothing but sulk in his hormones. Nowaki, however, was completely unsympathetic.

Ever time Hiroki got a bad cramp and curled up, Nowaki was there all smiley, happy, and annoying. Why couldn't Nowaki see that he didn't want to be cheered up, he just wanted to mope in his misery.

Nowaki would always say, "Let's go for a walk, Hiro-san!" or "How about we go to the park, Hiro-san?" or "Let's go visit your friends, Hiro-san! That'll cheer you up for sure!"

Hiroki just wanted to scream. Sometimes, he wanted to cry. Sometimes, he did both.

However, there was one saving grace. Hiroki had to thank whatever gods watching over him that he wasn't a woman. Of course, it may seem strange that a pregnant man was grateful for his masculinity, but he was never so glad that he didn't have breasts.

Ew, breasts. Boobs. Titties.

They were all the same to him.

Being a gay male, breasts never interested him in the slightest. In fact, he felt a minor repulsion towards them. They were jiggly and round, nothing like the hard, sculpted body of a man.

Everything that he had been reading on pregnancy had warned about breast changes, and how they would become sore, tender, or even painful. Hiroki couldn't imagine having to go through that on top of everything else.

However, he almost would rather having lumps of fat on his chest than having to deal with his childish co-worker. Miyagi was getting especially annoying. He had always been rather irritating, but lately it had been worse than ever.

Hiroki found himself clenching his fists and mentally counting to ten whenever Miyagi opened his stupid mouth. He didn't know if he could handle him today. It took effort to deal with the juvenile man, and he was already tired from meetings with several unruly students.

He stared at the wall clock in their office. It was almost noon, the time when Miyagi came back in-between classes. Sighing, he looked back towards his laptop and began typing, hoping to get some headway in a report before the other man returned.

Three sentences in, the office door burst open and Miyagi sauntered in.

Hiroki took a deep calming breath before turning around in his swivel chair. He scowled at the other man, who stretched his arms before throwing his briefcase against the desk and plopping down in his seat.

"Boy, am I pooped! Four students—can you believe it, four! — students just came up to me asking for extra credit! As if! I mean, they should know by now that we don't do extra credit."

Hiroki slowly let out a breath before silently turning back to his laptop. Replying would only encourage Miyagi to keep talking.

"And did you know that you can only hold newts with wet hands? I surely didn't."

Hiroki took another deep breath before relaying his current mantra to himself. Hitting others is wrong. Violence is bad.

"It's not as if the TA told me I couldn't pick it up. It was right in the middle of the biology wing sitting in the box, what was I supposed to do? They should put a sign or some type of warning. Anyway, you should have heard him screech—hey, Hiroki, you listening to me?"

Hiroki stood up with a tense jaw and made his way out of the office. He didn't have the patience to deal with Miyagi today.

The door slammed shut.

* * *

><p>"I can't deal with him anymore, Nowaki! He's getting on my last nerve!"<p>

"It's okay to be upset. He can be difficult to get along with." Nowaki rubbed his hand over Hiroki's back in small, soothing motions that he knew Hiroki would respond well to. "I know Professor Miyagi always been a little irksome, but what has he done this time?"

Hiroki threw his fists down onto the couch and groaned, "Everything! He just refuses to shut up! He blabs on and on about stupid shit, then I can't get my work done and he doesn't even seem to notice."

"Have you told him how you feel? Have you talked to him?"

Hiroki turned his icy glare over to his lover. "Nowaki," he bit out harshly, "If I wanted your advice, I would have asked for it."

Nowaki nibbled on his lower lip, unsure what to reply. His Hiro-san had been getting more irritable over the last month, lashing out at the slightest provocation. He was fairly sure it was the pregnancy hormones causing the mood swings, but Hiroki had always had a temper.

"Hiro-san, maybe you should try—"

"Honesly, Nowaki, all you are supposed to do is tell me how much Miyagi sucks and console me for having to work with him." The glare did not abate. "I don't want your advice."

Nowaki head dipped down as he looked away. There was only one way to deal with Hiroki when he was in one of his moods: give in and admit defeat.

"Of course, Hiro-san. I'm sorry."

Silence stretched between them for a few moments. Nowaki reached out a tentative hand towards Hiroki's lap. He lightly set them down on the other man's thigh and gave a reassuring squeeze. When he wasn't swatted away, Nowaki pulled Hiroki's body against him and began to stroke his hair.

"I'm so tired, Nowaki," Hiroki breathed softly.

Nowaki felt the corners of his mouth turn up. Seems that Hiro-san's bout of anger left him all worn out. This wasn't unusual. Lately, Hiroki would fight and then fall asleep minutes later. Again, Nowaki assumed, probably the work of his pregnancy hormones. It was cute, though. Hiro-san was always cute.

"You can take a nap before dinner if you want? Want me to get you the blanket?"

He nodded and relaxed his body fully against Nowaki. Nowaki eased away to fetch a warm blanket and pillow. The nights were chilly and it would not do to have Hiroki catching a cold.

The pregnant man quickly fell asleep. Nowaki stroked his hair and kissed his forehead before going to make tea.

He had planned on bringing up an uncomfortable topic sometime last week, but the right time never came about.

Work was putting so much extra stress on Hiroki, and Nowaki wanted him to take a leave until after the baby was born. He knew that Hiroki would put up a fight, but it wasn't safe and he needed to rest.

Only a few months into the pregnancy, and Hiroki was already too tired to make it through the day without falling asleep. It wasn't safe for him or the baby, and Nowaki wanted it to stop.

Maybe he would bring up the topic with Lady Kamijou. Surely, Hiroki's mother would understand and back him up. And Hiroki did say that she was coming to visit, right?

**I understand that I lost a great deal of readers because I didn't update for months and months and months. So please, if you are still reading or new at reading, drop a review and let me know that you're out there. I would appreciate it more than you know. Much love. **


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

It was almost three in the morning before Nowaki got home. Winter was fast approaching, chilling the air and making the cold seep through his coat. It left his fingers freezing and numb, fumbling to undo the buttons that kept it on.

A lone lamp in the corner softly lit their apartment. And although it was much warmer inside than out, the air was still cold, especially now that Nowaki had lost his protective outer layer of clothing.

He padded to the en suite bathroom and started the shower before stripping off the rest of his clothing. Normally, Nowaki preferred to shower in the morning. But after working the late shift, the heat of the water warmed his body before getting into bed. Hiroki didn't like getting disturbed by a freezing body climbing in during the middle of the night.

After the shower defrosted his frozen body, he pulled on a pair of boxers. His damp skin intensified the coldness of the bathroom, making him shiver and wrap his arms around his chest.

Finally, he slipped under the sheets and curled around Hiroki's back. Hiroki was so warm and smelled so nice. Nowaki pushed his nose into the back of Hiroki's neck and breathed deeply. Automatically, his hand moved to rest against and cup Hiroki's growing stomach. He was almost fourteen weeks along now and growing by the day. Feeling the life thriving inside his lover made Nowaki glow with happiness.

It had been a long day at work, so he was glad to be at home with Hiro-san at last. Not that sneaking into bed in the middle of the night was really spending quality time together, but any moment that Nowaki spent next to his lover was his favorite time of the day.

Before he left the hospital, one of his superiors asked if he'd be willing to take on more hours. It was a minor promotion of sorts; he'd get a slight raise in pay with the stipulation of more responsibilities. His initial reaction was to reject the offer, after all, he barely spent enough time with Hiro-san as it was, but something held him back from saying no. Instead, he said he'd think about it.

Hiroki made a small whimper and began to turn over onto his other side. Nowaki moved back a bit to give him room to move.

"Nowaki?" came a soft murmur.

Nowaki kissed Hiroki's forehead. "Sorry for coming home so late. I didn't mean to wake you up."

Hiroki snuggled into Nowaki's chest. "It's almost morning already. What time do you have to go into work?"

"Not till noon."

Hiroki groaned, "That's barely eight hours away! You're getting overworked. Tell them that they can suck it and don't go in. Take some time off."

Nowaki bit his lip. Hiroki would not be happy if he learned that the hospital wanted to add more hours to his already busy schedule. He'd probably throw a fit if he brought up the subject.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Hiro-san. Let's just sleep for now and we'll discuss it later."

"Whatever." Hiroki's tone was harsh and to drive it home, he pushed Nowaki away from him. It wasn't a hard push, just a little one to let Nowaki know that he wasn't off the hook.

Still, Hiroki let himself be pulled back into Nowaki's arms and kissed lightly.

"Goodnight, Hiro-san. I love you."

A long moment later came the reply.

"Love you too."

* * *

><p>Morning came too quickly. Nowaki woke up with Hiroki's alarm, and ignored it when Hiroki told him to get back in bed.<p>

When Hiroki pulled a peach from the fridge and began to wash it, Nowaki frowned.

"Hiro-san, how about I make you some eggs?"

"Thanks, but that's okay. I'll be fine with just this."

Nowaki got a pan from the cupboard and set it on the stove. "I insist. Protein is good for both you and the baby."

"No, Nowaki. Stop trying to force me to eat. I don't have time to sit down and eat today. I told Miyagi I'd get in early to do some filing."

Nowaki turned around and crossed his arms. "Is that Miyagi making you do his job for him? You know that I don't like it when he does that."

"And that's not your call, is it? Look, Nowaki," he sighed, like he was talking to a petulant child, "I have to do what he tells me. It's my job."

Hiroki's attitude had Nowaki tightening his jaw and raising his voice. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to. Least of all something that Miyagi tells you to. You need to make yourself your priority. Our family, our _child_, needs to come first."

Hiroki stared at him with such fiery, angry eyes that Nowaki immediately regretted his words. Nowaki didn't mean to start a fight, but sometimes his emotions got the best of him.

Quietly, he apologized, "I'm sorry, Hiro-san, I shouldn't tell you how to do your job."

Hiroki's eyes softened the slightest amount. "Fine. I'll talk to Miyagi, but I need to go get my bag ready for work."

"Please, will you eat an egg?"

Nowaki may have imagined it, but he thought that he saw a small smile grace Hiroki's lips. But then, just as quickly, the small disappeared.

"Fine. But I'm leaving in 10 minutes."

He left for their bedroom and Nowaki put some butter in the pan. He was glad that Hiroki was going to eat something other than the peach. Before Hiroki had gotten pregnant, he would often eat only a piece of fruit before leaving for work, but now, he had to eat some protein. He needed the energy to get through the day, especially since the baby would be sapping his nutrients.

* * *

><p>Hiroki was about to fall asleep on the train to work when the ringing of his phone woke him up. He stared at the screen for a minute before exiting out. His mother was adamant about coming to visit.<p>

He'd have to come up with an excuse soon. The old 'Work is too busy at the moment' wasn't going to keep her away for long.

When the train stopped he was still thinking about it, and later when he was giving a lecture he was also thinking about it. It stayed in his mind through all his morning classes.

However, once it hit his lunch break, he forgot his mother and realized how hungry he was. He dug into the rice balls and chicken he brought and immediately felt bad for fighting with Nowaki that morning. Nowaki was only showing concern for him. He couldn't imagine how hungry he'd be right now if Nowaki hadn't made him eat breakfast. Maybe he would apologize when he got home.

Man, he was turning into a sap. Since when did Kamijou-the-Devil apologize?

Hiroki shook his head to dispel the feelings.

Unfortunately, Miyagi chose that moment to disturb his peaceful lunch break. The man burst through the break room and made a beeline straight for Hiroki. He plopped down in the chair next to him and let out a big breath.

"Hiroki, you have to help me get out of a jam." Miyagi's face was sweaty and red.

He calmly took another bite of rice. "And why exactly would I do that?"

"Please, please, I'm begging you!"

"I'm on break. Go away."

"Come on! Please?"

Hiroki sighed and put down his fork. "Okay. No promises, but tell me what's going on."

"You know how I told you that some students were trying to get me to give them extra credit? Well, one of them is trying to use— _ahem_ — other means of raising her grade."

"So basically she is offering sexual favors for an A?"

"Yes!" Miyagi hissed. He looked around the room suspiciously and then hunched over and lowered his voice. "Please, Hiroki, you gotta get me out of this."

"And what do you want me to do about it?"

"Just go up to her and tell her no."

"Do it yourself."

"But I can't."

"You actually probably can." Hiroki tried to suppress a smirk. Miyagi could be so incompetent sometimes.

"No, you see… Well… She's very attractive and has really big—" Miyagi cupped his hands and gestured in front of his chest, imitating a woman with large breasts. "As a man, it is much too difficult to say no to her."

"So you're you saying that I'm not a man?" Hiroki raised an eyebrow, a little disgusted. Miyagi could be such a pig.

"You're gay."

"And you're not?"

"Of course I'm not gay!"

"I seem to remember walking in on you with the brat Shinobu on your lap. And you didn't seem too distraught over it."

"That doesn't make me gay, Hiroki."

"Whatever." Hiroki went back to eating his lunch.

"Is that a no?"

"Give me one reason why I should help you? I already came in early today to do _your_ paperwork."

"Because you love me?"

"Try again."

"Please?"

"No! That's not my job!" Hiroki was getting annoyed. In the beginning it was a little funny to have Miyagi begging him. Now, he just wanted him to go away. "I'm trying to eat my lunch. I'm too hungry to deal with you."

Miyagi stood up and glared. "You've been hungry a lot lately, huh? Getting a little chubby there."

Hiroki's eyes widened and his jaw dropped open. He could feel his face heating up as he stuttered, trying to come up with a reply.

"Lay off the food, will you? The extra weight is not becoming on you."

Hiroki couldn't decide whether he was embarrassed, angry, or ashamed. Attacking his weight was a low blow, even for Miyagi. He clenched his fists until his nails dug into his palms. He couldn't think of an appropriate response, so he lashed out. "At least I'm not embarrassed about who I want to fuck. Although I might be if I was you. Is Shinobu even legal? Would that be considered pedophilia?"

Miyagi sneered and gave a cold laugh. "Nice try."

They had a stare down before Miyagi left the break room. Although Hiroki acted tough in front of him, once Miyagi was gone the façade he put up faded. He looked down at the food in front of him and clenched his eyes, trying to keep back the tears. After a minute, he calmly stood up and dumped the rest of his lunch in the trash.

It was shock, Hiroki assumed, that was keeping him from majorly breaking down. Normally after a fight, he was angry and wanted to punch the offender. But after this, he just wanted to curl up and sulk.

The negative feelings only got worse throughout the rest of the day. His students noticed that he didn't have the same intensity as usual and took advantage of it. They were all texting, falling asleep, or whispering to each other. Hiroki didn't feel like dealing with it, so he dismissed his last class early and went home.

* * *

><p>Although it was only seven o'clock when Nowaki got home, the apartment was dark.<p>

"Hiro-san?" he called out.

No reply.

He tried again. "Hiro-san, are you here?"

Nothing.

Hiroki probably wasn't home yet. Nowaki let out a big breath. If that Miyagi roped Hiroki into staying late to do more paperwork…

He walked through the kitchen and living room and turned on the lights. He stopped in his tracks when he heard a small noise come from their bedroom.

Slowly, he opened the door and peeked in. There was a Hiro-san sized lump under the covers.

"Hiro-san?" he whispered, approaching the bed. "Are you okay?" When there was no response, Nowaki nudged the lump.

Upon contact, the lump huddled further under the blankets.

Nowaki got on his knees next to the bed and rubbed the lump.

When there was no reply, Nowaki peeled away the blanket. Hiroki's face was down into the sheets, so he ran his fingers through Hiroki's soft hair, hoping to get a response.

"Hiro-san, are you okay?"

After a moment, Hiroki peeked his head up.

The room was dark, but Hiroki's face was brightened by the moonlight coming through the window. Nowaki couldn't be completely sure, but it looked like his eyes were red and puffy.

Immediately, Nowaki's heart broke.

"Hey there," Nowaki cooed softly, brushing Hiroki's hair off his face, "Want to talk about it?"

Hiroki shook his head and turned his face back into the sheets.

"Do you want to be alone?"

Hiroki made no movement for a moment, but then there came a very small no from under the blanket.

Nowaki walked around the bed and climbed in. He was glad that Hiroki didn't want him to leave. Sometimes, when Hiroki was in a bad mood, he just wanted to be by himself to work off his anger.

When he had dragged himself close enough to Hiroki, he put his arm on the smaller man's shoulder and turned him over so they could cuddle. In the colder months, they usually spooned while they slept, Nowaki being the big spoon and Hiroki the smaller one. It was a comforting position for them both, so Nowaki hoped it would calm Hiroki down.

Nowaki didn't speak, knowing that Hiroki would open up when he was ready. Sure enough, five minutes later, Hiroki did just that.

"I'm sorry, Nowaki. You shouldn't have to deal with this. These stupid hormones are making me a total wreck." His voice was rough and cracked halfway through.

"That doesn't matter. You know I'll always be here for you."

"I just had a really bad day."

"Can I help?"

"Probably not."

"How about I make us some dinner? We can talk about it while we eat if you want. You didn't make something already, right?"

"No, but I'm not really hungry."

"I'll make something anyway. It's past dinnertime already, and you need to eat."

Hiroki was about to argue, but decided against it. He had no energy to hold his own in a dispute.

He followed Nowaki into the kitchen and sat down while the taller man opened the fridge.

"What are you in the mood for?"

"Whatever you want.."

Nowaki ended up making a quick stirfry. It had a lot of vegetables to make it healthy. Now that his pregnancy was progressing, Nowaki had become very conscious of what Hiroki ate. That meant he couldn't skip meals and had to eat all of his vitamins and nutrients. The pregnancy was already high risk; they didn't need to exacerbate it with a poor diet.

"So, Hiro-san," Nowaki said, putting their bowls on the table, "do you want to talk about what happened today?"

"Not really, but basically a whole bunch of crap happened in the span of six hours. First we had our argument about breakfast, which I got over pretty quickly. I mean, I know you were just concerned about me."

Nowaki felt his heart clench. "I'm sorry, Hiro-san, I didn't mean to ruin your day."

"No, you were the least of my problems. Later, when I was on the way to work, my mother texted me."

"Oh, yes! And how is Lady Kamijou?"

"Fine. She still wants to come visit us, though."

"What date did you give her? I'd like to request a day off for it."

"I didn't. Come on, Nowaki, it wouldn't be a good idea for her to come here. You don't know her like I do."

Nowaki's face fell. "But I'd like to know her, if it's okay with you, Hiro-san."

"Maybe. We'll see."

Nowaki knew that that was Hiroki's way of dismissing the subject, never to be broached again. But he would not give up that easily.

"She should come pretty soon, I think, before our baby gets too much bigger." Nowaki forced out a laugh. "After all, it would be too much of a shock if her son was heavily pregnant with no warning. At least for now your belly isn't so obvious. We can ease her into the subject."

Hiroki squirmed. "Maybe."

"I've never had a mother before."

"Trust me, it's not like you're imagining it."

"Maybe not. But still…"

Hiroki sighed. Nowaki could be so wistful sometimes. "Anyways, during my lunch break stupid Miyagi came up to me and asked for a favor. When I told him no he got angry at me."

"That wasn't very kind of him."

"He's just such an idiot sometimes."

"Maybe you should tell him how you feel about it. What did he say to you?"

"Ugh, I can't even imagine having to talk to him right now. He was just being a rude jerk." Hiroki shivered, recalling how he felt when he was called fat. He'd always been very trim, and had admired his lithe body.

Now, his stomach was sticking out and all the extra food Nowaki gave him was causing him to gain a little pudge in his face, arms, and thighs. It was nothing super noticeable, but when he stood naked in front of the mirror, he couldn't see anything other than the weight he'd gained.

Knowing that other people had begun to see it too was the worst.

He'd never tell Nowaki what Miyagi had said. Nowaki would just try to cheer him up and make him eat more food. More food was the last thing he needed.

He only ate a couple bites of the stir fry. Nowaki noticed and encouraged him to eat a bit more, but he refused and said he was too sleepy. He didn't feel too bad for skipping dinner; after all, he really was tired.

**The reviews you guys left last chapter made me incredibly happy. It means so much to me that you take the few seconds it takes to review and the encouragement is amazing. **


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